


Origins of Supermom vol. 1 - Redemption

by daskey



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, Useless Lesbians, it's just full of cliches okay, overuse of a whole lot of tropes, overuse of the "sharing a bed" trope, terrible pseudoscience
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-03-22 01:03:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13752978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daskey/pseuds/daskey
Summary: Updated description, still the same Supermom!Reign has been defeated, now Sam has to deal with what she left behind.Drama, intrigue, mystery, platonic cohabitation and mischief unfolds as Samantha Arias discovers new things about herself with the help of Alex (and the rest of the Supersquad).aka the redemption arc our favourite soccer mom deserves





	1. The Fall of Reign

**Author's Note:**

> welcome! if you're new to this, disregard any author's note that talks about regular updates. i don't know the definition of regular. i'm not a regular person. 
> 
> i obviously don't own supergirl... 
> 
> this is my first fic in a long time so please give me constructive criticism! i thrive on it. either here, or i'm also daskey on tumblr.

Freefall.

It was a moment of weightlessness. She could see the sky ahead, ink black. The faintest sliver of moonlight.

She’d had dreams like this before. Falling dreams - what was the symbolism behind that again? She could never quite recall - dreams where she flew, dreams where she fell. Always so vividly real.

It was funny to picture herself in her bed right now, under all the covers. Was that the L-Corp building? She definitely wasn’t dressed to code right now, probably in her pyjamas.

The wind whipped at her face in a way that felt so vividly real. Her dreams had gone up in quality, apparently.

A flash of red and blue in front of her.

Supergirl? Oh. Would this be one of _those_ dreams? She’d heard of people having dreams about-

The wind was knocked out of her, and searing hot pain coursed through her system before -

_CRACK_

Pain. Excruciating pain and her vision went white for a moment before a pair of red boots stood on either side of her, and pure fear coursed through her system.

Her whole body pulsed with that pain. Supergirl’s eyes burned red hot.

What - what kind of twisted, fucked up dream was this?

Supergirl’s hand went to her collar, and Sam couldn’t fight as she lifted her up with one hand. Her whole body screamed in protest, her limbs gone limp, static filling her senses as she barely held back the agonised scream that bubbled up in her chest.

She felt battered in every sense of the word, and it took so much for her to lift her arm. The bones in her forearm weren’t moving right - it shouldn’t have hurt that much to get her fingers to touch Supergirl’s hand, to paw at it weakly.

Her vision focused again, just for a moment, on the blonde’s face. Steely blue eyes, a merciless expression.

Sam felt hot liquid rolling from the edge of her mouth as she opened it to speak, and the effort it took made the world fade at the edges again. A single, weak croak of “Help,”

Darkness.

-

When she woke up, she was in a bed that didn’t quite feel right.

Usually, her alarm woke her up. She’d spend some time tossing and turning in bed until her second alarm, then she’d open her eyes to a fairly well-lit room. She liked waking up with natural light, with the sunlight on her face. It was invigorating, the warm golden sunlight filtering through her window to gently wake her up.

She woke up, and the light was green instead. It didn’t invigorate her, it felt like it was doing the opposite.

She felt drained, and she _ached_ in a way that she had never felt before. This was... this was a kind of pain she’d never experienced. It was dizzying, as was the sights that greeted her when her eyes flew open.

At first - she only saw white. Blinding, eye-searing, headache inducing white, until someone muttered out a curse and the light was forced to the side instead.

Her eyes focused on green lines in the ceiling, the source of the green glow, and then she began to react.

“What- who -“ She tried to sit up, but her wrists were bound, she got up part of the way before she realised her ankles were cuffed to the bed too and she fell back to the bed. There was a hand on her shoulder pushing her back, and she fought against it for a moment before a voice spoke -

“Sam! Relax, okay? We’re just - you need to stay calm.” Stay calm? Stay calm?! The last thing she remembered was climbing into bed - no wait that was a lie. Oh, Alex was right there. She couldn’t be thinking about _that_ now. She reluctantly shrunk back as Alex’s softened gaze implored her to relax for just a moment. “Okay, good.” She gave Sam’s shoulder a pat when she was fully lying down. “You probably have a lot of questions.”

Sam’s snort was abrupt and it surprised both of them. “Yeah, you don’t say. What am I doing here? Is this the FBI?” she asked, glancing about the room, trying to pinpoint where she was.

“Not- not FBI.” Alex looked sheepish for a moment when Sam’s eyes narrowed and flicked back to her face. She gave a small shrug. “Welcome to the DEO,”

“Okay, okay no.” Sam immediately tried to push herself up, but Alex’s hands came to her shoulders, stopping her from progressing.

“Sam, you need to stay-“

“Where’s Ruby?”

“With Lena and Supergirl.”

Sam started to protest again, but Alex stared her down, utterly serious. “Ruby’s safe. I swear on my own life. I know for an absolute fact that she’s the safest kid in the world right now.”

Supergirl... that name brought back a memory of being beaten, seared alive with heat vision, thrown like a ragdoll.

“Supergirl,” Sam whispered, shaking her head, her eyes blown wide with fear. “Supergirl did this to me.”

“You remember something?” Alex prompted her to continue, but she could only remember snippets.

The more she tried to force her mind back to those memories, the more it seemed to... fight back? A splitting pain rattled her skull and she tried to grab at her head but her wrists were still held tight by the cuffs.

“Sam, you need to stay calm okay?”

She let out an agonising cry as the pain started to amplify, and Alex’s hands came to her shoulders again. Pushing gently at first, guiding her, but when Sam didn’t move she had to try harder.

“Sam! Are you-“

Alex faded from focus as static clouded her vision. The muscles along her arms tensed, and she heard a sudden groaning of metal before her hands flew up, freed from the grip of the cuffs. Alex’s hands were still on her shoulders. Sam couldn’t care less.

She gripped at her skull as hot tears streamed down her face. The splitting pain eased by an inch when she focused on the pressure from her fingertips pressing into her skull.

Alex was saying something. Alex. She was there, calling in others? Sam could just make out her form, lithe and commanding, talking to someone else before she turned back to face her, features coming into focus for a moment.

She saw her lips move, starting to speak.

When she spoke, her voice could have shattered mountains.

It felt like there had once been a veil over the world, and now it had been removed.

 

“Staying under the kryptonite seemed to be the logical solution but I think it did something else. You remember what you said before? About the worldkiller part being separate from Sam herself.”

“Yes. The idea was the kryptonite would dull down Reign, even if it didn’t shut her down completely,” Alex said, glancing back through the glass wall to Sam, whose arm hung from the stretcher as they carried her out of the kryptonite containment chamber.

It took a lot to scare Alex. She had seen some shit in her time. Sam tearing through the strongest kryptonite infused cuffs like they were made of tinfoil? That had shocked her, as had the screams of pain. She wouldn’t be able to get those out of her memory, every tendon in Sam’s neck straining as she screamed and pressed against her skull, fear in her eyes.

And Alex knew she’d needed to do something, but she didn’t know what, so she called Sam’s name and told her to hang on, but as soon as the words left her lips Sam had fallen back, out like a light.

“Well, the prolonged exposure to kryptonite seems to have done something else,” Lena muttered, shaking her head. She looked tired - Alex had never seen her tired. This was taking a toll on all of them.

Of all the people that Alex had ever met, Sam was the least deserving person to be burdened with something like this. It was a cruel act of fate which they were trying to rectify, but the more they worked at it, the more they realised they were out of their depths. That didn’t mean Alex wasn’t going to do everything in her power to make sure the single mother could live her life free of Reign.

Lena was disheveled in Alex’s lab, but she still sat primly at the table, her notes squarely in front of her. She shook her head again as she came to a conclusion.

“Don’t tell me it’s bad news,”

Lena glanced up with a tight-lipped grimace. “I think you know what happened,”

It clicked. “The kryptonite caused Reign to fuse with Sam.” Alex’s eyes widened.

Lena’s nod was slow. “We haven’t got the scans back, but it’s apparent from the sudden burst of kryptonian powers.”

They stood in silence for a moment before Alex’s fist collided with the table with a loud crash. She stomped out of the room, running her hands through her hair, and she heard Lena’s tottering footsteps behind her, the clacking of her heels.

“Alex, we’ve got to find-“ She put a hand on Alex’s arm, but Alex shrugged her off, turning to face her with a glare.

“We’ve fucked this up Lena.” With her finger pointed at Lena’s chest, she backed her up into the hallway wall, the shorter woman staring up at her with unreadable pale eyes. “We’ve fucked up big time, it’s our fault, we should just...” She was running out of steam as soon as she started talking.

Lena picked up on it, and the little hint of fear in her eyes turned to resolve. “We may have messed up, but I’m not going to give up, and neither are you,”

“Sam’s life is on the line here!”

“Then we better make sure we do a damn good job,” Lena stared Alex down for a moment before she saw Alex’s shoulders sag, and her eyes shine with unshed tears. “You know there’s nobody else out there who can do better than we can. _We_ are her only hope.”

-

Day two.

Alex had to lie to Ruby.

The kid was perceptive, she’d give her that.

They were seated on Lena’s uncomfortable ivory white modular minimalist leather sofa. It squeaked with disuse every time Alex shifted in place, so she tried not to move too much.

Lying was basically in the job description, but when she looked at Ruby, her furrowed brows, her restless hands, all that training and practice was useless.

“It’s about the memory loss, isn’t it.” She shrunk in on herself, seeming even smaller then on Lena’s uncomfortable couch. Her hand came up to her neck, playing with the silver pendant around her neck. When she looked at Alex again, her eyes shone with unshed tears but she didn’t cry, she held herself in a way that was beyond her age. “Can you tell me the truth? I don’t want you to give me the kid version of it all, please.”

Alex felt like the lowest of the low when she moved closer and held Ruby in her arms and told her a lie. She couldn’t bring herself to lie to her face. “She’s in the hospital. We’re working on fixing the problems, but it’s a lot more complicated than it seems.”

Ruby’s hands gripped Alex’s sweater tightly. Barely holding together. Alex held her tight. “You’re helping the doctors?”

“I’m doing all I can but -“ But what she’d done so far had made things a whole lot worse. She closed her eyes against the stinging of tears - tears! Actual tears - and swallowed around the lump in her throat. “It’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

“What’s it called? What she has?” Ruby leaned back to look up at Alex’s face, and Alex tried to keep herself together. For Ruby.

“It’s- we don’t know.”

That was the truth, but it wasn’t the truth that Ruby wanted.

-

Alex was out in the city, cruising through the streets on the back of her bike. Fast enough to probably get a few speeding tickets, engine revving loud enough to drown out the chaos in her mind.

Passing under streetlights and weaving through traffic, she made her way to nowhere in particular, in a way that was as close to flying as a human could get.

She wanted to escape, to get away from her problems for a while in a way that didn’t involve drinking, so when she saw a flash of blue and red in the edge of her visor, she sped up.

It wasn’t the police - which... yikes. Thinking about the police brought her to thinking about Maggie again. She could have used someone to talk about all of this, someone who wasn’t involved in the DEO. An outside opinion.

Maggie was always grounded in reality in a way that made her a really good person to bounce problems off. She was a realist, whereas Alex was a mess.

Kara was gesturing at her to pull over.

Alex peeled off the main street and into a short alleyway. She let her bike idle for a moment before red boots hit the ground beside her.

She took off her helmet, and glowered at Kara.

Supergirl’s hair was windswept. She was wringing her cape between her hands, and gnawing at her lower lip. She still had a few marks from the fight with Reign that hadn’t faded. A small gash on her eyebrow, the shadow of a bruise across the bridge of her nose.

“How is Sam?” She asked, and Alex took a deep breath. Of course.

“You know, you could talk to me at work about this. Or in my apartment.” She’d wanted to get away, and now the guilt, the hopelessness, was coming back because of those three words. Her tone was clipped, and she would feel sorry about snapping at her younger sister about this but really, she ought to be able to tell when she didn’t want to talk about something. “Or, you could talk to Lena.”

“I- you know I can’t,” She glanced away and - oh, right. The whole ‘secret’ thing.

“You can ask as Sam’s friend,”

“She won’t tell Kara the truth.” She was trying to dig for information, but the pout wasn’t going to work on Alex.

“You can ask as Kara’s friend,” Alex retorted, before sighing yet again. “Kara, I need a break. I need to think, I need to sleep, and I need to get back to this in the morning. I can’t explain this to you right now in a way that won’t make you upset.”

“Just tell me!”

Alex started to pull on her helmet.

“Alex, don’t just go. You need to tell-“

She revved the engine, straddling her bike again. She could see the alleyway continued in front, connecting in another street, and so she shot forwards, disappearing into the night.


	2. Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena is a good aunt, meanwhile Sam deals with super senses for the first time. The Danvers sisters help out a friend. The DEO makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be posting every Monday evening or so, depending on how uni goes. Please leave a comment down below as to what you'd like to see, I'd love to have some more ideas to work with! 
> 
> (and please remember, this is a slow burn) 
> 
> :)

“I had to drop Ruby off at school, and she was asking me about lunch money, but she was very anxious to do so,” Lena said as Alex walked in with a new set of scans for them to go over. 

She raised an eyebrow at the CEO. “You dropped her off at school.” 

“I got a driver to do it,” She said with a wave of her hand, before her expression went thoughtful, and her hand went slack. “Is fifty dollars enough for lunch and recess? I’m worried I didn’t give her enough.” 

The unexpected absurdity of that sentence took Alex by surprise, and before she knew it, an ungodly sound came out of her mouth. She laughed. “No, that’s enough,” 

Lena leaned back, narrowing her eyes in bewilderment before letting out an awkward chuckle of her own. 

She probably thought Alex was losing it, but Alex was just grateful that Lena was around. 

She had the same amount of stake in this as she did. She cared about Sam - and not just from a scientific or public safety standpoint as a lot of the DEO did. 

 

Sam was in the box for a long time. 

It was a box. Four walls, a sliding door that was closed. A seat. She wouldn’t call it a cell, because when she’d started thinking like that, she’d started to stress out about it. 

She’d been given a set of clothes, loose track pants and a tank top that were clean but it looked like they had been through a few washes. They fit, but the pants brushed a little bit above her ankles. She wore socks, but she didn’t want to wear the shoes they gave her. They looked uncomfortable, bulky combat boots that were already worn in but they would be too much. 

Everything was heightened in a way that made moving almost painful. Her ears rang out with the slightest of noises, the shifting of her hair as she tied it up sounded like a buffeting breeze, she could hear her hair moving - what kind of crazy shit happened to make all this happen? 

She felt like she’d been reduced to a thing that could feel and act but not think coherently. Reduced to something that could respond to stimuli and not much else from the sheer mass of information her brain was processing. The sounds of footsteps in the hallway, the vibrations in the ground, the air coming out of the vents, pressing against her exposed skin. Dust. Barely visible dust, floating in front of her eyes. 

Then her clothes began to feel itchy again, coarse against her skin which felt raw, felt new. She’d checked her body for injuries, she’d found nothing. It was just that her skin all over felt hypersensitive. 

The sound of the fabric again as she shifted into a curled up ball in the corner of the box. With her ears near the walls, she didn’t hear the echo of her breaths. 

Her sense of smell too, that was stronger. She caught the chemical scent off the floor, the stale air from the vents, the smell of people in the hallway, a mix of perfumes and deodorants and clothing smells and sounds and speech- 

“I’m just going to talk to Arias.” 

“Go ahead. She’s still okay. No noticeable shifts in behaviour.” 

“Good. That’s good to hear. Thanks.”

Before the voice even registered in her mind, she could see Alex in the hallway- sort of. Like she was looking  _ through  _ the wall, to where she was standing, and further to her skeleton underneath - and her vision snapped back to the wall ahead, a radiating pain starting from a point on the right side of her skull. 

“Alex-“ It was instinctive for her to call the name of the person closer, but it didn’t come out as loud as she wanted - the breathiest of whispers. 

It was that, or the specks of dark red on the concrete that made Alex’s heart suddenly race, and her footsteps speed up. 

“Sam-“ She looked up to meet Alex’s eyes, the woman’s mouth turned into a frown and she was throwing the door open, crouching down in front of Sam. Her heart was pounding, the blood rushing through her veins, and Sam reached out to touch her as she heard the steady drip- drip drip - drip from her nose. 

“I can feel everything,” Sam said, and just like before, she felt the world start to go dark. She tried to defiantly fight it off but she couldn’t - her body was giving up again, she could only get out, “It’s too much,” before Alex’s arms were the last thing she felt. 

 

She was getting really sick and tired of passing out all the time. 

She’d spent  _ hours  _ on her own in that box, and then what, the first real interaction she got, she passed out? 

 

The DEO weren't very... holistic in their approach to Sam's recovery. She understood their pragmatism in a sense. It would slow things down considerably if they spent too much time doting on every case. 

Still - this wasn't just any case. This was Sam. This was her best friend. She was awake, watching something on a DEO issued tablet. When she noticed Lena, she smiled, but it didn't meet her shadowed, bloodshot eyes. 

"Please tell me you have good news." 

"I do, actually." Lena smiled, and moved to sit on the edge of Sam's bed. Sam immediately reached to grab Lena's hand. Her grip was weak, no sense of that kryptonian strength for some reason, and Lena made a mental note of that. "You'll be able to go home to Ruby soon." 

It was like she'd breathed life into Sam's body with those words. Her smile lit up her face. "Really?" 

Lena smiled, and squeezed Sam's hand. "Right after Alex finishes her report. She needs to do one more test." 

Sam shrunk into the bed at that with a sigh, but Lena tugged at her arm. "No, not that kind of test." Her eyes sparkled, and Sam tilted her head to the side. "It's a  _ physical _ ," 

Sam glowered at Lena as she laughed, she let go of Lena's hand and pointed at her. "Don't. You know Alex and I are just-" 

Lena rolled her eyes. Sam's mom voice never worked on her. She languidly stretched on the bed, leaning over to fix a few strands of Sam's hair that had become frizzy. "She's single, you're single, I don't see why it shouldn't happen." She accentuated her point with a wink. 

Then they heard the door opening, and their attention turned to the lithe figure slipping through the door, walking with a clipboard in hand, in skin-tight leggings and a crop top which showed off a rather spectacular set of abs. 

Alex didn't seem to give notice to Lena on the bed, almost as if it was normal to see the CEO sitting on Sam's hospital bed. 

"Come with me," she said, and Sam heard Lena stifle a laugh.

Oh, if looks could kill. Sam put the tablet aside, and leapt out of bed. She'd been tired before, but the prospect of seeing Ruby again... She was going to make an effort. She was going to get better. 

"Yes ma'am," was Sam's response, and at that Lena  _ actually  _ laughed. 

"You two are ridiculous." She got off the bed, graceful as a housecat, and sauntered past Alex. "You be gentle with her, you hear?" 

Alex rolled her eyes. "We went over the parameters before, it's just a regular fitness test." That part was said to Sam. 

Fitness test. She held back a grimace. 

"Yes, well." Lena paused for a moment, her joking demeanor lost for the moment as her fingers curled around the doorframe. "Don't kill her after we've worked so hard, okay? Sam's not one to enjoy physical activity unless there's sufficient... motivation."

Any excuse for an innuendo. Lena didn't see Sam's glare, and Alex seemed to be oblivious to it all as she wrote something down on the clipboard. Lena gave Sam a wink as she danced out, and oh, would she have  _ words  _ with her later. 

She was pulled out of her annoyance by the smile that was on Alex's face. "Well, come on then." 

They started walking through the DEO which - hey, Sam was not going to get over the fact that this place existed, and she was  _ inside it _ \- seemed to be rather busy, so they moved single file as they passed a control room of some sort. 

So Sam was looking at Alex's back muscles instead of paying attention. She wasn't checking her out, it was just that Alex looked really fit. Like, gym more than once a month fit. Sam wasn't unfit, but she just... wasn't as toned as Alex. "I hope you're not going to make me do too much cardio." 

Alex glanced back with a sparkle in her eye. "You might have to go easy on me," 

 

They passed a gym, but they didn't go in there. Instead, they went into a room with a lot of empty space which Sam figured was a room for a whole different kind of training. As soon as she stepped on the mats and felt them give slightly under her feet, it made sense. 

She walked out till she was in the center of the mats, before glancing back towards Alex. She was stretching her arms out as she walked towards her.

 

Alex watched Sam closely. 

She trusted Sam implicitly, it was just her alter ego that she was worried about. Hence the test that she and Lena had devised.

They had a red sun lamp installed in this training room. Right now, it was off. They wanted to see how Sam would react to combat, if Reign would come to the forefront under duress. 

The previous tests hadn't brought anything up other than memories which brought about an adverse reaction in Sam. No Reign. 

Alex had drawn the line at revisiting footage of Reign's attacks while under observation. It would do nothing but torment Sam. 

The data proved Alex and Lena's assumptions that Reign and Sam were not one and the same. Reign wasn't the devil on Sam's shoulder, she was a completely separate part of her mind, almost parasitic in nature, hijacking her nervous system to do her bidding. Reign's hijacking caused the blackouts. 

As far as the scans and tests could tell, and Sam's own personal accounts, when Reign was at her weakest during the fight with Supergirl, Reign had engaged her conservation measures, and started to bury herself deeper into Sam's consciousness in an attempt to avoid being destroyed. 

The kryptonite room had then caused Reign to weaken considerably, but there were still visible parts of Sam's brain that suggested that Reign hadn't gone completely. Surgery was an option, but any type of brain surgery could have complications. 

The questions now - was Reign dormant? Could she be awakened? 

That was what Alex was about to test, and all signs showed - 

Well, right now Sam was bouncing up and down on her heels, staring at the floor with a small smile on her face. 

"Sam?" 

"Hmm?" She looked up with wide eyes, and Alex resisted the urge to smile at her antics. She needed to remain professional. Remain objective. 

"It's not a trampoline. It's a sparring mat," 

"Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry." Sam stopped bouncing up and down and swung her arms about for a moment before looking back at Alex with a sudden realisation. "Wait, I'm going to fight you?" 

"I'm just going to teach you a few moves," 

Sam let out a breath, and nodded. "I can do that." 

Alex smiled again, and stepped closer to Sam. "Feet shoulder-width apart." Sam followed her instruction and Alex walked around her, eyes scanning her body. "Stop leaning so far forward. Put your arms up." 

Sam tried her best to look tough, her hands clenched into fists, held up in front of her, and she focused on Alex's face but instead of approval she was met with a grimace. 

"No, Sam, no." Alex's hands came to one of her fists, and Sam unclenched it as Alex unfurled her fingers, getting her thumb out from underneath her forefinger. "That's how you break a thumb. We don't want that." Alex's hands closed around her reformed fist, and she angled it up in the proper readied stance. Her hands were soft, and she let her fingers trail down her arms briefly to position her arms in just the right position. 

"No, I don't want that," Sam muttered as Alex flicked her hair out of her face, stepping back. Sam could breathe again. 

Alex angled her head down slightly, staring at Sam with a single-minded focus, her lithe body ready like - Sam would make an analogy about a lioness and her prey, but-

It happened so fast after Alex got ready that Sam's brain couldn't keep up until the world was sideways and she heard her own body collide with the mat. She stared up in shock, the air leaving her chest in a wheeze. Her arms were pinned to her sides, and there was a pressure just below her ribs where Alex's knee rested. 

If Alex pressed a little harder, she'd be hurting real bad, but she was just pinning her in place, her face hovering above Sam's, red hair framing her face, her dark eyes looking - kind of disappointed? "You weren't paying attention," she said, and moved her legs to either side of Sam, getting up lithely and dragging Sam up as she went. 

Ouch. Somehow that hurt more than Alex knocking her to the ground. "I'm a lover, not a fighter," she said, trying to justify her failure with a joke, and Alex huffed out a bright laugh. 

She didn't go easier on her though.

Over the course of twenty minutes, Sam became acquainted with the ground. Alex tried to teach her how to punch, but her punches were weak and bounced off the pads harmlessly.

She landed on her back. She landed on her face. At one point, she landed on her side, with Alex rolling on top of her, her weight pressing her down. She'd tried to wrestle her way out, but it was like trying to wrangle a boa constrictor, Alex just tightened her grip, grinning down at her. 

At the end of thirty minutes, Sam was sweating profusely. At this point, Alex had been toying with her, dancing about and avoiding every punch, every kick, ducking and weaving and it felt like trying to catch water in her open hands. At least Alex looked a little bit flustered, her face was flushed and her brow was furrowed as she concentrated, and that infuriating smirk wasn't there anymore. 

She wanted to win. It was that competitive streak she had in her. She wasn't the most coordinated, she wasn't very strong, she wasn't going to overpower Alex unless she focused, and wore her out. 

She grit her teeth as Alex tapped her on the side. Another glancing blow, the left side of her ribcage. Soft enough for it not to hurt, just hard enough that Sam could feel it. 

Alex's lips quirked up into another infuriating smile as she danced past, and a rush of heat radiated through Sam's body. 

Alex slowed for just a moment, her smirk turning into a look of confusion. 

In that moment's window, she acted. 

She lunged forward into a rugby tackle. and Alex couldn't move fast enough. They went careening into the ground, Alex hitting the mat first and bouncing back into Sam's body with the impact. Her brown eyes were blown wide. She didn't expect that. 

But then they narrowed again, and Sam felt her start to fight against the grip she had around her torso. She was trying to weasel her way out of Sam's grip, but Sam caught her hands, pinning them to the mat with an intensity to her eyes. 

Alex tried to turn the tides. She wrapped her legs around Sam's torso, trying to throw her weight to the side, set her off balance, but for some reason Sam was fixed in place, holding her down with an iron grip. 

She gave up. She sunk back down onto the mat, staring up at Sam. Her lips pursed, and her nose wrinkled. "You got me." 

And Sam brightened up. "Ha! I win!" She grinned, but she stayed pinning Alex to the ground, waiting for her to get out of her grip. That probably wasn't the best way to go about things. Sam suddenly became aware of how they were pressed together as Alex's legs slowly unravelled from around her waist. The agent waited, staring up at Sam until her eyelids fluttered, and she glanced down between them before looking to the side. 

"Uh, Sam. You have to let me go. I can't get out of your grip." 

"Oh, sorry." Sam let go, sitting back on her thighs, and Alex sat up. Sam was basically straddling her until she held Alex's hand and pulled her up. 

Being knocked down seemed to have ruffled the agent's feathers. She ran a hand through her hair, going over to pick up the clipboard before going back to Sam. 

She flicked the pages, and Sam suddenly felt like she was back at school, waiting to see if she got an A. She waited hopefully as the agent deliberated before she glanced at Sam and noticed her eager, impatient expression. 

"Oh, you're fine," she said with a laugh, and Sam let out the breath she'd been holding. 

"I can go back home?" She was hopeful, and Alex hated to bring her hopes down, but she didn't want to lie to her. 

"Well... that's still a complicated process," she said, and watched as Sam's shoulders sank, the adrenaline from her little victory fading. 

"Ruby's probably worried and I -" 

"We've told her we're fixing you. That you're in hospital. You can tell her as little or as much as you want when we finish clearing you for release." 

It put her at ease, but not entirely. She'd withdrawn into herself again, and Alex didn't want that. 

She didn't want her to deal with this on her own. It wasn't her fault that being released was taking so long. It was the fault of the DEO, of Alex, of a lot of other people. 

She saw Sam turning "Hey, talk to me." 

"Even when I go back to Ruby, it's not going to be the same, is it. I'm not going to be-..." Fixed. The word hung in the space between them before Alex shook her head. 

"You can't think like that. There's no more Reign, and that's a good thing." She saw Sam nod, and continued. "Also, you're not normal, but screw normal. Normal is boring," 

She moved to lightly punch Sam on the shoulder, but her fist stopped halfway, caught in Sam's hand. Sam herself seemed surprised at that, looking at her arm like it had betrayed her. 

Alex raised her eyebrows and a grin spread on her face. 

"Wow, sorry, I don't know what-" Sam shook her head, letting go of Alex's hand, but Alex didn't seem bothered in the slightest. It started to sink in at that point. "Wait- so-  _ superpowers? _ " 

\- 

She had her driver pull up just outside of Ruby's school. She'd decided to opt for one of the less... ostentatious vehicles in her own personal collections, a simple black sedan. 

It was still getting a lot of looks from passers-by, other parents, some students walking out of school early. They would do a double take, and then try to peer through the tinted glass to get a glimpse of who was inside. 

The more she thought about it, the more she realised that maybe the Mercedes would have been a better choice. 

When she spotted Ruby, in amongst the hoards of children swarming from the school doors, she was elated. She jumped out, not noticing the eyes that followed her curiously as she tottered over with her arms wide out, calling out Ruby's name. 

Ruby was with a group of her friends. As soon as she saw Lena, she rolled her eyes and waved them goodbye. 

“Ruby, darling-“ The girl seemed to be annoyed at Lena somewhat but she still jumped into Lena’s arms for a hug. 

“Lena... that’s not a really subtle car you know,” she said as they parted, shouldering her bag, and Lena frowned. 

“It’s only a Chrysler.” Ruby gave her an odd look before clambering into the car. “What?” Lena asked, as she got in behind her and gave a nod to the driver. 

He started to drive, but Ruby didn’t say anything. She rested her elbow on the side of the door, staring off into the distance. 

-

Sam hadn’t been in a locker room for years. Luckily, this one was empty, so there was no embarrassment as she stripped and got under the spray of water. 

As soon as she did so, she regretted it. 

The rush of water started to increase in volume as she calmed down from the fight. It was steady, innocuous, and she was lost in thought at first, thinking about things. Her sudden super abilities. The annoying little smirk Alex did every time she managed to knock her down. 

Then it became deafening. She took a step back when the sounds interrupted her thoughts, and regretted it when the water hit her head, hit her ears. It was like her brain was being battered from the inside, and in her haste to shut the tap she heard a crunch and felt something crush like paper in her hand. 

With a yelp, she went careening backwards, scrambling to get out of the spray, get away from the mess, and she was at the back wall somehow, watching the shower that was about six feet away, the new hole in the tile where the tap had been. 

She glanced down at her hand, and saw the tap, and part of the tile that had come out with the tap. 

She let go, and it clattered to the ground, the imprint of her hand in the stainless steel. 

The volume eased slightly, but her heart was pounding in that moment. She forgot that she was sitting on the floor, entirely naked, until-

“Sam? Are you oka- oh, yep. That’s a- I’m not looking!” Alex’s shoes squealed against the floor with how abruptly she stopped. Sam’s head swivelled around to face her, and she saw Alex, standing with her back to Sam, her hands over her eyes. “Are you hurt?” She asked, after a long awkward pause had Sam saying nothing. 

Right. She was naked. Water was still dripping from her body, and the tiles were cold and unforgiving. She couldn’t stay here forever. “Uh- yeah, just give me a second to-“ she glanced around and saw a towel and quickly wrapped it around her torso, holding it under her arms. “I’m decent,” 

Alex’s eyes flickered over her form once before coming back to her eyes. “I heard you shout so I thought something might have happened.” She glanced at the still running tap, and the hole in the wall, and Sam felt her stomach drop. 

Right. People didn’t usually freak out over having a shower, freak out and leave holes in the wall. 

“You okay?” She held out her hand, like she’d done before on the sparring mats. 

Sam stared at her hand for a second. The broken tap was still next to her, with the bits of the wall still attached, the handle warped from her fingers squeezing it so hard. 

“Sam, you’re not going to hurt-“ 

“I don’t think I’m ready to go back,” She said the words as the realisation came to her mind. Alex’s hand went back to her side, and Sam stood up on her own, still staring at the tap. “Not till I get the hang of this,” 

“You’re going to be fine. This was just a-“ 

“No, before I could...” She stopped herself, but Alex’s suspicious glance had her continuing, “I already knew I wasn’t - I could tell. From the attack at the waterfront.” 

Alex’s eyes widened as she put two and two together. “When you saved Ruby-“ 

“At first I thought it was just the adrenaline.” Sam shook her head. This was all fitting in place, it was an explanation for it all, but still - she’d thought she was a hero. She hadn’t known that this whole time she’d been a villain. “But I got shot, and I didn’t get hurt. I could put my hand into boiling water, and it would come out fine. I-“

Her words trailed off when she saw Alex’s expression change again. This time, her face was unreadable, her words were soft. “If you had told me before, I could have helped you.” 

Helped. 

She could have  _ helped _ . 

She saw Sam break a hole in the wall, she’d heard of all the terrible things she’d done and  _ still  _ she wanted to help. 

Sam went over to the nearest bench and sat down. It was all so much. She heard Alex sit next to her, leaving ample space between them. 

It had come to that point, where all Sam needed was a hug. 

Alex was not expecting a hug from a towel-clad woman that day. She’d already delegated all her attention on being a good friend, and had buried the not-so-friendly desires she had for the woman deep, deep down. So deep, she’d forgotten they were there, until Sam caught her arm and rested her head on her shoulder. She couldn’t even be mad about Sam’s wet hair when she heard her breathe in shakily. 

“I don’t think I can go back, Alex.” 

She was unsure of what to do. Sam wasn’t moving away, so she rested her hand on the back of her head, trying so hard not to focus on how warm she was, and how silky her hair was, even when damp. “You will go back, ‘cause Ruby needs you. Lena needs you.” 

Sam looked up, and met Alex’s eyes. “If I hurt-“ 

“You won’t hurt anyone.” Alex gestured at her arm, that Sam was gripping with a human amount of strength already. “You’re not hurting me. I know someone who... I know someone who can help. Do you trust me?” 

-

A sad Kara was never fun. Alex had seen her sad plenty of times. This? This was a new level of sad, but she couldn’t blame her. This whole situation seemed incredibly unfair for everyone, especially for Sam, and the woman didn’t seem to be able to catch a break. 

Right now, she was in full Supergirl costume, she’d just come back from saving something. Alex could tell from the concrete dust that was still in her hair. 

But she didn’t have the smile, the little confident bounce to her walk that usually came with being a hero. She dragged her boots across the DEO floor as she walked, and her cape didn’t billow out proudly, it just sort of rested there, draped over her back. 

A thought crossed Alex’s mind, a memory of blankets and sniffling and Kara crawling into her room in the middle of the night. 

“Hey, Kara. You okay?” She asked. 

She was not okay. The look that she gave Alex spoke louder than words. 

There was not much she could say to calm her down, other than what she’d already said. “Your actions were justified at the time.” 

Kara’s face crumpled, and Alex held out her arms reflexively. “She- she didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve any of it and I- if I had just figured it out or something... if I’d slowed down and just approached it all differently maybe Sam wouldn’t be-“ 

"You can't think like that. You can't blame yourself," 

"I beat her up! One of my best friends, Alex. Can't you see how messed up that is?" Her voice raised in pitch and volume, on the border of hysterics, and Alex saw a few agents turn to look at them curiously. 

She grabbed Kara by the arm and dragged her down to a small side corridor, glaring at agents as they left. Kara followed, huffing and sniffling, her eyes red. Alex patted the side of her face, squeezing Kara's shoulders hard, hard enough to hurt a human, just enough to get Kara's attention, and make her feel grounded. “You didn’t fight Sam. You fought Reign.” Kara looked like she was about to protest, but Alex continued, speaking slowly, clearly. “I know of something you can do something to make up for it,” 

-

She had her back turned to her, sitting cross-legged on her bed, a book in her hands. 

She seemed relaxed. At peace. 

Alex nudged Kara, giving her a small comforting smile, before turning to head back down the hallway. Kara watched her red hair disappear in amongst the other agents, then looked back at Sam. 

Kara tried to swallow her guilt for one moment. This wasn't about her right now. This wasn't about what she did, it was about what she was going to do. 

"Sam?" 

She glanced at her, and for a moment her brow furrowed, she closed the book in her lap. She turned around fully, and her face lit up in recognition - "Kara?" 

Kara glanced down at herself, thinking she might have been wearing her civilian clothing but no, she could still see the crest of El on her chest. She was still in her suit. 

She stared at Sam in mute shock, as the other woman stepped over, her eyes slightly unfocused as she made sense of it all. "You're Supergirl. I- you- you beat Reign," 

"I'm so sorry for-" 

Sam shook her head quickly, cutting her off, and before Kara knew it she had her 

"I remember kicking your ass too. Not as me, as Reign. I'm sorry for doing that." A shadow passed across her face, like the sun obscured by a cloud. "If you hadn't-" 

"No, stop. I'm meant to be apologising," Kara said with a watery chuckle, and Sam's eyes were bright for a moment when she left Kara's hug, rubbing her hands up and down her arms to comfort her. 

"How do you deal with it?" Sam asked after a moment, and at Kara's expression she elaborated. "The world. It feels..." She gestured with her hands, and Kara now understood what Alex meant. 

"Like everything's been amped up to eleven?" 

"Yeah." Sam nodded, glancing over to the side. Kara listened out in the direction she was looking in, and heard the tail end of a very heated conversation in another room of the DEO. "How do you deal with it?" 

She looked at Sam again, the shadows under her eyes. It echoed with something in herself, and she felt quite strange being the teacher to someone who was older than she was, but she figured it made sense - she had more experience in being kryptonian than Sam. "You have to learn how to tune out the world," 

"When I was a kid... Alex used to tell me to listen to her heartbeat. It's something - to focus on one point, one particular noise, until you calm down," 

She saw Sam's eyes flutter shut for a moment, and Kara tried to focus on Sam's own heartbeat to find it gradually slowing down. 

"You okay?" Kara asked tentatively, and when Sam's eyes opened again it looked like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. 

Sam nodded, and a small smile spread across her face. "Yeah, yeah I'm okay." 


	3. Surveillance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is released, under one condition. A return to the Arias household, and the slow burn begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tiny early update. The next chapter is killing me so I thought I'd be nice and give you something to tide you over until then :)
> 
> Tell me what you want to see in the comments! I'm curious to see how you think the story is going (and they help with the writer's block...)

J'onn and the doctors had deliberated for a long time. Alex had stepped down from the table for those discussions, knowing that her opinions were already compromised by her friendship with Sam. 

So she had no idea what she was bringing her into. 

She shadowed Alex into the room, and when Alex stopped walking she was almost knocked over as Sam kept going, apologising repeatedly before Alex raised an eyebrow at her and she went quiet once again. 

Alex could basically feel the worry radiating off her like a physical thing. J'onn could too, judging by how he rested his hands on the table in front of him and got the ball rolling straight away. "This is a very complex and delicate situation, and the DEO would like to thank you for being so cooperative through all this." The next part was addressed to the doctors gathered around. "We have come to the consensus, after rigorous testing, that Samantha Arias is fit to be released." 

Sam sighed. Frigid cold burst against the back of Alex's neck, it felt a lot like being caught under a gust of cold air from an open freezer. She flinched away from the cold and turned around to see Sam looking at her in confusion, until Alex mouthed 'freeze breath' to her. 

Sam's eyes went wide, and she covered her mouth with a hand. 

J'onn gave the two of them a sideways glance. Alex squared her shoulders, and Sam composed herself somewhat. 

He nodded towards one of the doctors, who stepped forward in their lab coat with a tablet in their hand. 

"We've told you already that Reign didn’t disappear entirely, and you’ve probably realised since you still have kryptonian powers. As you haven’t shown any significant personality shifts, we have come to the conclusion that Reign’s consciousness ceased to exist when the brain underwent severe trauma during the battle with Supergirl.” 

“So... she’s gone,” Sam asked tentatively, and when the doctor nodded, she sighed again. “So I’m going to be okay.” 

The doctor nodded. “You are going to be okay, as far as we can tell you’ll be fine. Our teams are working on kryptonite inhibitors to help. You will be free, as long as you agree to be under DEO observation.” 

Alex felt a response rear up in her chest. The doctor was already reeling back, seeing the expression on Agent Danvers’ face shift, but J’onn intercepted before she could speak. 

“She seems to be fine, but there may be other real-world triggers that we haven't been able to discover through testing. From what we can see, Samantha is her regular self, but the presence of powers even in her human persona implies that Reign isn’t entirely separate-“ 

"I can accept the surveillance," Sam said, and Alex turned to face her, raising her eyebrows. "I just don't want Ruby to have to know about, or deal with any of this. She thinks I've been in hospital."

It was a fair point. J’onn mulled on it for a moment, nodding slowly. Alex wondered if he was reading Sam’s mind. 

The thought of Ruby having to deal with suited agents monitoring her mother after Alex told her she would fix things, that everything was normal and mundane... it didn’t sit right with her. She’d made a promise, she was going to uphold it. The decision came to her, clear as day, and the thought must have been loud because J’onn looked at her a fraction of a second before she made the decision to speak. 

"Let me take point on this," Alex said. "She trusts me, Ruby knows me. It won't arouse suspicion. I know the case inside and out.” 

The doctors, and a few gathered agents who were probably listed for this mission already looked at J’onn with varying expressions of disbelief when without another second of hesitation he nodded and said, “Alright. Agent Danvers, you’re on this case.”  

-

The first breath of fresh National City air had Sam feeling... different. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she focused on the tingling feeling of the sunlight warming her skin. The scents - a mingling of car exhaust, concrete, old food, wet earth. The smell of Alex beside her, salt, gunpowder clinging to her clothes, 

Everything felt a lot brighter, a lot better. The world was _ alive _ in a way that she’d never quite felt before. 

“Don’t keep the lady waiting, Sam,” Alex said, and Sam could hear the smile in her voice as she walked up to a waiting motorcycle. 

Sam's stomach dropped when Alex picked up a helmet. It explained the leather jacket she'd been wearing, the tight jeans, the heavy boots. Still, Sam hadn't expected for Alex to be shoving a helmet into her hands before she got her own and pulled it on. 

A motorcycle? 

It started up with a growl that made Sam's eardrums rattle. Alex threw a leg over the bike, straddling it for a moment, adjusting her helmet before looking back at Sam. When she noticed her inactivity, she flipped her visor up and raised an eyebrow at her. 

“You coming?” Alex asked. Sam clutched the helmet in her hands a little tighter, glancing down at it, before looking back at Alex on the bike. The agent tapped the space behind her with a sly smile. “Faster than a car.” 

She was trying to convince her. Sam frowned, watching Alex’s grin grow wider as she started to bring the helmet up to her head. “I’ve never been on a motorbike before.” 

“You’ll be safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

Alex revved the engine, doing a quick check of her tank, and felt Sam’s hands grip the sides of her jacket as she clambered on the back. She took a little while to get comfortable, all the while her hands didn’t move from those two precise points on Alex’s sides. 

Their helmets bumped more than once, and Alex heard her muffled apologies before she finally stilled, her legs either side of Alex’s hips, her front pressed into Alex’s back, and her head coming to Alex’s shoulder. 

“Can you... can you go slow?” 

“If I go too slow it’ll topple over,” Alex’s voice came from inside Sam’s helmet, surprising her for a moment and - right. Super secret organisation had to have pretty high-tech helmets. “If you’re worried... here.” Alex’s hand gently moved Sam’s to her abdomen, leaving it with a solid pat. “Wrap your arms around my waist, and hold on. Not too tight though. You’re still super.” 

“Right.” Sam tried to calm down the sudden butterflies in her stomach, and focused on wrapping her arms around Alex. As the bike tore away from the sidewalk with a snarl, she instinctively flinched, and she heard Alex let out an excited laugh. 

She couldn’t see why. She was focused on the worrying tug in her stomach from the force of the bike, the wind buffeting her, the rumbling engine of the bike beneath her. She brought her head up to Alex’s shoulder and squeezed her eyes shut as tight as she could, and just hoped, prayed, and  _ waited  _ for them to finally get there. 

 

Her house was just as she’d left it. She didn’t know why she’d expected anything else. The motorbike rumbled to a stop, and the absence of the sound was nearly as startling as the initial shock when it started up. Alex shuffled backwards slightly, and Sam realised that she had to let go. 

It was an awkward process, getting off the bike. Alex made it seem effortless. She was unfair like that. 

Also, her short hair was unfair. She tugged off the helmet, and her magnificent red hair caught the light as she tousled it with a hand, a broad smile on her face. 

Sam was not as lucky. She tugged at the helmet, and felt a pinch on her scalp as the helmet came off. When she finally got it off, the air felt cold against her heated skin, and strands of hair were in her face, and inevitably all over the place. 

“I think next time I’ll take the bus,” she muttered, it just happened to be loud enough for Alex to catch, and she laughed all the way to the front door. 

The door opened before either of them could knock, and when Sam felt her daughter crash against her with the force of her hug, she nearly let out a cry of relief. 

“You’re back!” 

“I’m back, baby. How are you? How is school? Has Lena been feeding you properly?” Sam leaned back from the hug to cup her daughter’s face with her hands. She was the same. She was alright. Her eyes were a little bit red. 

“Oh my gosh, Mom,” Ruby scoffed, pushing her hand back and glancing away. “It was fine. You just got back from the hospital and you’re thinking about what I ate?” 

“Sam, good to have you back home.” Another voice from the doorway. Lena stepped forward, her pale eyes glancing at Alex for a moment before giving her a small nod. “Alex.” 

“Lena.” Alex returned the nod. 

“Ruby!” Ruby shouted, and when all three of them looked at her, she shrugged. “You’re all acting weird. It seemed funny at the time.” She reached over to hug Alex, and the agent smiled at the pre-teen. 

“We’re all weird because you haven’t invited us in yet. Show me your math homework.” Ruby sighed, and grabbed Alex’s arm, dragging her inside.

-

She tried to keep an eye on Sam as they started going through Ruby’s math work. Out of the corner of her eye, while she was explaining how to calculate circumference, she could see Sam pillow her head on Lena’s lap as they spoke quietly, watching TV. 

 

She was getting overwhelmed already. 

A headache was forming from the sounds of all the people in the room breathing, speaking, moving about. Outside, the wind picked up, rustling the leaves of the trees. The TV was an endless stream of mindless chatter undercut with a hiss of static that seemed to be the main issue. 

So she did what Kara told her to do. 

She rested her head on her best friend’s lap, and closed her eyes. 

Lena’s hand absently played with her hair for a little while, saying something about an organic conditioner she should try. Sam tried to zone out from the sound of her voice. 

She sought out one particular noise, and focused on it. As soon as she found the steady, strong beating heart, she tried to will her mind to relax. Focus on the sound. The gentle rhythm. The sound of life. 

“Yeah, that’s about right. Remember that formula, okay?” Alex said, unknowingly startling Sam who was deeply focused on her chest. Lena glanced down at Sam for a moment, raising a sculpted eyebrow. 

“All this talk about pi is making me hungry,” Ruby said, and Alex’s bright laugh filled the room. 

“How funny. C’mon, let’s see what your mom is watching. I think we’ve earned a break.” 

“Yes,” Ruby hissed, enthusiastically closing her books before bounding over to the kitchen. 

“Something healthy Ruby!” 

“Sure.” Ruby rolled her eyes and went straight for the open packet of oreos. As soon as she picked it up, she heard her mom call out again. 

“Oreos aren’t healthy!”

Ruby glanced down at the pack in her hand, then over to the couch where her mom was. “How did you-“ she sighed, rolling her eyes. Of course. “Mom senses,” She whispered under her breath with disdain, putting the cookies down and picking an apple from the fruit bowl instead. 


	4. Trust Exercises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's finally home, so things should start settling back to normal, right? She's home, back with Ruby, Alex is there too - for moral support and to make sure nothing bad happens - so everything should be fine...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please   
> keep commenting  
> commenting feeds the writing fiend 
> 
> also what is regular updates??? i don't know
> 
> enjoy this chapter i love you all

Eventually, things settled out like this. 

Lena had to excuse herself for the evening, she had an appointment with a stylist for an event coming up. 

So that left Alex, Ruby and Sam on the couch. There was a superhero movie that Ruby had missed last summer, something about space heroes? Sam tried to watch but the vivid colours and the constant explosions were making her head swim so instead she curled up on her side of the couch, focusing on taking another nap. 

She tried again to relax herself, but Alex’s heart rate was slightly elevated, picking up with every tense part of the movie just a tiny bit. She hadn’t seen the movie either, and she’d been rather aloof about agreeing to watch it but Sam could tell she’d been wanting to see it. 

She opened one eye to peer over Ruby. Alex’s face was silhouetted in the bright flickering lights, the kaleidoscope of colours playing on her skin. She had her lower lip between her teeth as the heroes nearly died (key word being nearly), and Sam found the action captivating for some reason. 

It was probably that she was usually so composed, so... professional didn’t seem like the word. It was just that Alex was a woman of many contradictions, and that intrigued her. The badass secret agent, the careful caring doctor, a total dork who would never admit it, but Sam could tell that she was sucked into the film when the protagonist was on their last legs on some wacky planet, trying to protect the cube-of-endless-power while in the background the antagonist approached, weapon in hand, for the killing blow. 

Alex’s heartbeat picked up again. Just a tiny bit. 

Sam smiled, amused, and closed her eyes. 

 

“Mom, you’re  _ so  _ heavy, wake up! It’s almost time for dinner.” 

Ruby was bursting with excitement, Sam came back to the real world feeling a lot more relaxed, and a whole lot of relief. 

It had been difficult, sleeping at the DEO. She’d missed home, she’d missed Ruby - so much so that she’d fallen asleep sprawled out on the couch on top of her daughter. 

Sam stretched and sat up, and Ruby walked over to the kitchen, where Alex was poking through the drawers already. Sam had told her previously to make herself feel at home, and she was glad to see that the agent was doing so. 

Alex could barely hide the affectionate smile that spread across her face when she saw Sam bleary-eyed, with her hair a mess after waking up from her cat nap. 

She was a kryptonian capable of bench pressing a sedan, but right now she looked about as fierce as a sleepy kitten. She rubbed at her eyes, and stared at Alex for a moment, eyes unfocused. 

“I can help with dinner,” Alex said softly, and Sam nodded in gratitude. “You should go have a shower, with some  _ proper  _ hot water.” 

“That sounds great.” Sam nodded, glancing down at the clothes the DEO had given her. They were serviceable, trackpants and a grey sweatshirt, but she really wanted to wear her own clothes. She trudged down to the bathroom, leaving Alex and Ruby in the kitchen. 

Ruby recalled the last time Alex had cooked. She’d tried to make stir fry, but it ended up being a soupy mess of charred, inedible goop and they’d ended up burying it in the backyard (a suitable sendoff for the poor vegetables that sacrificed their lives). She glanced up at Alex, who had an expression on her face that looked a lot like she was thinking of the same thing. 

“Can we order pizza?” 

Alex looked down at Ruby and nodded slowly. “Don’t tell your mom.” 

 

Sam ended up spending so long in the shower that Alex and Ruby had ample time to order the pizza, have their order delivered, get rid of the boxes, place the pizzas on the oven rack, pour out some soda into wine glasses, get the garlic bread out of the foil and onto a plate, and set up the dining table. 

When Sam walked out, her skin was flushed and her eyes were bright. She had on an old sweatshirt and a pair of yoga pants that accentuated her long, toned legs. Alex felt warm just by watching her pull the sleeves of the sweatshirt down over her knuckles. She was soft, her smile was sweet as she glanced about the dining table. 

“You didn’t have to go through all this trouble, Alex.” The look that she gave Alex made her preen a little, to have her efforts noticed. She gave a one armed shrug and pulled out a chair, gesturing for Sam to sit down. 

“Meh, it was nothing.” 

Ruby brought over the pizzas with a broad grin, and Alex saw the moment the realisation hit Sam. She didn’t say anything though, that small smile on her face stayed, and she sat down in the offered seat. 

Alex sat across from her, Ruby sat beside her. Soft music played from the stereo, an old song, one of Sam’s secret favourites. 

She glanced at Alex over the pizza and orange soda, wanting to see if she could tell, but she was already shovelling pizza into her mouth like a starving woman. 

That was probably a good idea. Sam’s stomach growled, and she glanced down at the pizza, the smell of tomato, oregano and cheese making her mouth water already. 

“Oh yeah, you might feel a little more hungry,” Alex added around a mouthful of pizza. She wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, swallowing before elaborating, “Side effect of the surgery.” 

Oh. She wasn’t human. “Right, yes.” Sam nodded, and at the first bite of pizza she nearly moaned with how good it tasted. Just the right side of hot, the slight bite to the cheese, the delectable sauce, the slight crisp edge to the crust which was light, airy - 

Ruby was giggling, trying to hide it behind her palm. Alex had a crooked smile on her face as she brought her glass up for a sip. 

“What?” Sam asked Ruby, and the girl barely held back. 

“Your face.” Ruby’s resolve broke and she grinned outright, “You looked all-“ She pulled a face that was an accurate approximation of Sam’s enraptured pizza eating face which made Alex snort into her soda. 

“You know I love the pizza from Giordano’s.” Ruby froze, and Sam rolled her eyes. “Really, you can’t try to convince me that you made this. I know my favourite pizza maker.” 

“Damn,” Alex hissed under her breath. “Busted.” She put the soda down, glancing at Sam and their eyes met for a second. Alex gave her a cheeky grin. 

Sam felt a flutter in her chest. Ruby interrupted, her voice taking an argumentative tone. “Maybe Alex is a famous pizza chef. You don’t know.” 

Alex raised her eyebrows, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, maybe I am that talented.” 

Sam raised an eyebrow at the girls who were both trying to convince her of the opposite. There was one thing that would incriminate them both, she just had to find it. 

Glancing about the kitchen, she noticed that the sink was empty - obviously they didn’t cook if there weren’t any pots or pans out - and there was nothing really out of place. She couldn’t see a box up there, but she could see something peeking up from the bin. 

Narrowing her eyes slightly, she focused on it, and just like in the hallway of the DEO, she saw the layers peel back until she could just make out the shape of a squashed Giordano’s box squashed underneath some other things, probably to hide the evidence. Unfortunately, they hadn’t been through enough, and the corner of the white box was just enough to give them away.

“Then why is there a pizza box in the trash?” she asked those seated at the table, and all movement ceased. 

Alex pursed her lips, and Ruby just froze in place, wide eyed. 

Busted indeed. 

 

They’d all parted after watching a few episodes of a TV show Ruby was obsessed with. Some B-grade high school horror-slash-drama that captivated her and Sam, they were both thoroughly invested in the characters and would debate on what was going to happen next. Sam had favourites which she cheered for, and so did Ruby. 

Alex wasn’t really much of a drama fan, so she sat there beside Sam and surveilled. That was what she was meant to be doing, after all. Watching over Sam, making sure she wasn’t about to flip the switch and turn into an evil villain again. 

It was hard to take her job seriously when Sam was clutching at a pillow, her brown eyes wide, legs pulled up onto the couch like that would protect her from the evil stalker villain on TV. 

_ This  _ was who Reign had been inhabiting this entire time. The soft soccer mom who grimaced and winced at very bad special effects. The blood looked like ketchup but it still got a reaction from Sam. 

“It’s rated PG-13,” Ruby told Alex just as a very fake severed head bounced down a set of stairs leaving streaks of ketchup-blood in its wake. “It’s the coolest show, but Mom won’t let me watch it unless she’s watching it, and she’s a scaredy cat.” 

“Am not!” Sam very maturely argued, voice partially muffled by the cushion that was now being pressed up against her face. Only her eyes peeked out now and again to check out what was happening. 

Alex glanced away when her instinctive reaction was to point out how cute the other woman was. Now was not the time for that. She was meant to be working. 

She snuck another glance at Sam. She had her eyes squeezed shut, and at the next jump scare Ruby cheered, and Sam flinched. 

She had to remain objective. 

 

Remaining objective was going to be hard when she was walking down to the Arias’ spare room and caught the tail end of Sam and Ruby’s conversation. 

“- they all helped, but I missed you.” After all the bravado with watching that (not very scary) movie, and the joking around about the pizza, Alex had almost forgotten how scared Ruby had been. Hearing her speak now, she sounded a lot smaller, a lot less sure of herself. 

She paused in the hallway when Sam’s voice came through, low and sure. “I missed you too. But I’m okay now,” 

“Alex told me she was going to fix you.” Again, Ruby’s quiet voice tugged at her heartstrings at the reminder of that promise. “She said she was helping the doctors at the hospital, but she didn’t say what you had. I tried to research about amnesia but they don’t say a lot about how to cure it-“ 

“Oh Ruby.” Sam’s voice broke at that, and Alex continued walking, not wanting to eavesdrop on that private moment anymore. 

The kid was smart, Alex knew that from the moment she met her, but she was still just a kid, and Alex had come _ so close  _ to disaster with the green kryptonite room. That guilt started to fester in her chest again, her mind taunted her with the potential outcomes she could have caused in her own haste to get it all dealt with. 

She ducked into the guest bathroom, noticed the still-packaged toothbrush and toothpaste on the side of the sink. She glanced up at her own reflection as things really started to sink in. 

Ruby could have been without a mother. 

It would have been Alex’s fault. 

She covered her face with her hands, before turning on the tap. The cool water against her heated skin helped her waken up a little, and she turned off the tap after a moment to wipe at her damp face, glancing at her own remorseless eyes. 

A soft click as a door in the hallway behind her closed, and she heard footsteps approaching. She put the towel down, realising belatedly that she didn’t have any clothes, she’d have to sleep in what she came in until she could either go to her apartment, or get Kara to bring her some things. 

Sam was in the threshold as she turned around, that warm smile on her face. “I’m turning in, but if you need anything I’m just down the hall.” 

“Okay then.” Alex gave her a reassuring nod, leaning against the sink. Sam’s eyes flickered down briefly, before her brow furrowed. 

“Do you need pyjamas or anything? I could lend you-“ 

Alex was not going down that path. She dismissed Sam’s concern with a smile. “Nah, I’m fine, I’ve slept in worse.” 

A memory came to mind of sleeping half-naked with her holsters still attached to her DEO pants. The very definition of crashing, throwing her bloodstained shirt at the wall, her bra removed by careful soft hands, a kiss to her shoulder and they were both in bed, Maggie’s unbandaged fingertips ghosting around her bruised ribs until they both fell asleep after the Daxamite invasion.

It ripped out the breath from her chest, the unbidden memory, and she hoped that Sam didn’t notice that the agent sent to protect- to supervise - to monitor her was feeling a resurgence of unchecked angst. 

Sam rested in the doorway, both hands on the frame, leaning forwards slightly like she wanted to say something else but the expression faded from her face and she took a step back. “Well, like I said. I’m down the hall.” 

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” 

 

Staring at the ceiling was getting boring real fast, but when her eyes were closed, her ears seemed to go on overdrive. 

She could hear out to the neighbor's house across the street. The TV was on, some boring late-late show. 

A racoon was digging through the trash - its claws grated against the trash can, the sound made her teeth rattle, like the sound of nails on a chalkboard. 

Kara's advice rang in her head. She tried to seek out Alex’s heartbeat again, but this time it seemed to be lost in the background noise, passing traffic, the whirring of the clock by the edge of her bed, the grinding of the little plastic gears inside it. Not quite as accurate as it was meant to be, she could hear the odd click every now and again which didn’t help. 

A siren screamed past, about eight blocks down, and she sucked in a breath as her ears rang with the sound. She covered her ears, but that didn’t help, she got her pillow and jammed it on top of her head, pressing down hard, but it did nothing to dull the world. 

  
  


Alex was lying awake. 

She’d taken off her jacket and her boots, they were by the door. 

Was it guilt? Was it anger at herself? What was it that was keeping her awake, what was it that made her feel like this? 

She wouldn’t call it loneliness. She was well acquainted with loneliness. 

It was that little feeling she had - it was like a pain of loss, for something she’d never had, something she could never have had with Maggie. Just thinking of her now made Alex felt empty. That hollowness, that pain, turned into an all too familiar lump in her throat, a burning desire for something to chase it away. 

She’d rushed into things - both of them were at fault in a way. They hadn’t bothered to discuss their visions of the future, too focused on surviving, on  _ living  _ together, so immersed in the little things of the present that they hadn’t thought to look at the bigger picture. 

Alex was at fault, she knew, because of her own naivete. She’d felt something for someone that she’d never felt before. Her whole world had changed because of Maggie, and so she’d decided to cling to her, forgetting in the process that Maggie wouldn’t automatically want everything that she wanted. 

And she couldn’t fault her for that. She knew Maggie had her reasons, but she just felt  _ empty _ now, and the selfish part of her wanted Maggie to come back to her, to see her side of things, to  _ settle  _ with her. 

But she wouldn’t be happy, because she didn’t want that. 

A shuffling noise. There was movement just outside her door. 

She reached over to the bedside table instinctively. She’d packed her gun, just in case - 

The door swung open. It was Sam. 

She was bleary eyed, her long hair falling loose down to her shoulders. Outlined by the hallway light, she stared at Alex in a way that was almost - shy? Swinging the door back and forth on its hinges. 

She probably hadn’t expected to see Alex lying awake, in the clothes she’d been wearing all day, on top of the covers. 

“Can I come in?” She finally decided to speak, in a soft whisper. She was in dire need of sleep, but the slightly wild look in her eyes told Alex that sleep wasn’t coming to her. 

Alex shuffled back to the headboard, crossing her legs and patting the space beside her. Sam gave her a small smile in silent gratitude. 

But instead of sitting beside her, back to the headboard like Alex had propped herself up, she crawled onto the bed, lying as she had been before with Lena. 

Alex was somewhat used to physically affectionate people, she had to be, with Kara. Still, Sam surprised her every time she sought out her touch. 

“I can’t sleep,” Sam said, and shook her head slightly with a small smile. “I am so tired, Alex. I’m finally home, and I - I can’t sleep.” Her eyes landed on Alex’s face briefly, before going unfocused for a moment.

It was a look she’d seen before, people with superhearing often got distracted by other sounds. She wanted to ask why, but she thought Sam was probably tired of explaining it all anyways, so she settled for patting her on the head - a strange move when she thought about it later. “Same here.” 

“What’s up with you?” Sam asked, and when Alex glanced down and saw her staring up at her with genuine brown eyes, she felt a little bit of that emptiness ease. 

Talking about things helped. Kara wasn’t all full of cliches. “I miss her.” 

Sam said nothing, only turned onto her side, facing away from Alex. “Tell me about her.” 

Alex huffed. “You want me to talk with you about my ex?” She couldn’t keep staring at Sam’s long hair, she had to see if it was as soft as it looked, and Sam was basically angling Alex’s hand on top of her head. 

Her hair was softer than it looked, thicker too. Just passing her fingers through, she nearly got them stuck. “What are friends for?” 

Sam turned back to face her with a comforting smile. Was this her way of repaying Alex for helping her? Did she expect Alex to just dump everything on her, gossip about her ex, give her juicy secrets and other spicy tidbits that she could spread to others about how she’d broken it off with Maggie because... 

“Well, she-“ She swallowed around the lump in her throat, and the sound caused Sam’s expression to falter. She quickly went to recover. “I broke up with her. We had different...” She tried to find the right word, nothing really came to mind. “We had different goals. We weren’t good for each other in the long run.” 

“I can’t sleep because the world is too loud.” Sam said after she was sure Alex was done. “I’m having dreams again, of losing control, of hurting those around me, but they don’t  _ feel  _ like dreams, because I don’t feel like I’m sleeping. It’s like I’m lying awake, but the thoughts are even more vivid than they usually are.” 

“You’re the gentlest person I know, Sam,” Alex muttered, continuing to play with Sam’s hair. Alex felt her fingers playing with a loose thread on the seam of her jeans, by the side of her knee. “I believe in you. Of all people, you’re the least likely person to slip up, because you care so much about doing right by everyone.” 

There was a shuffling noise as Sam curled in on herself a bit. Alex’s hand moved from toying with her silken waves, to rubbing comforting circles on her shoulder. “I thought coming here would help. I didn’t think you’d be awake, I just-“

She stopped herself. What was she going to say? How would coming to Alex help? 

Oh. 

Reign. The DEO. 

Alex figured that Sam was worried about reverting to Reign. 

Sam just wanted to listen to that steady heartbeat again, and she could. Her ear pressed against her thigh, she could hear the strong rhythm continuing. But Alex didn’t know that. She was processing what J’onn had said before they left. She was thinking of how she said she was going to stay objective. 

“You’re not going to hurt anyone,” Alex said, and her body betrayed her with a yawn. 

Sam’s hand came to Alex’s shoulder, pushing her down lightly, proving Alex’s point. “Lie down properly,” she said, trying to tug the woman down, “I’m going to just stay here until I feel sleepy enough.” 

Alex followed reluctantly, lying down with her head on the pillow, still above the blanket. She yawned again, grumbling slightly. “I’m usually able to stay up late.” 

“Don’t worry. I still think you’re a badass, even if you go to sleep at 9pm.” Alex turned to face the other woman, and saw her eyes light up with amusement, her lips curved into a smirk. 

“You should be sleeping too,” she retorted. “Work tomorrow?” 

“Shit,” Sam whispered, closing her eyes. “Yes. I had to beg Lena to start tomorrow rather than in a week.” 

“You could take a day off, you know. After what you’ve been through-“ 

Sam cut her off with a small laugh. “I think I’d go crazy.” Wasn’t that relatable? Alex’s lips quirked up in a small smile. “Keep talking to me about things, please.” 

And they did. It reminded Alex of another time, as a teenager, with Vicky Donahue. Sleepovers spent talking about anything and everything, from their deepest fears to -

“- and that’s why, to this day, I never bring Kara to buffet restaurants.” 

At this point, their voices were barely whispers, afraid of disturbing... something. Sam’s chuckle was just a whole lot of very quiet high pitched huffs that she muffled with her hand, her eyes softening around the edges as she tried to hold in a bigger laugh. 

There were other things too. In the morning, neither would remember the specifics of what was discussed, but Alex would remember Sam talking about becoming friends with Lena. 

“I’ve come to see her as a sister,” Sam said, and that made their prior interactions make sense. “Ruby sees her as an aunt, a very rich aunt.” Sam smiled fondly, and her voice turned back into that excited whisper as she shared a story that she found deeply amusing. “When Ruby was seven, she had a horse phase. I had to sit Lena down and explain to her why she couldn’t buy out an entire stable.” 

Alex’s eyes water as she tried to hold in a laugh. “She bought Catco for Kara.” 

“I know,” Sam huffed. “I had to deal with all the paperwork for the transfer of ownership.” She still had a fond smile on her face. “The things people do for love.” 

“Kara still thinks they’re just friends.” 

Sam’s eyes widened and she gasped. “No, really?” 

“Yes really,” Alex replied, and Sam really laughed at that. 

She had to wonder what it was about lying there with Sam, just chatting about everything and nothing in particular. There was no reason to lie in the dark. No reason to pretend. 

“I’ve never been in love before Maggie, Before that, I thought I was just... I wasn’t made for love. I thought it was some kind of big scam, something made up. She showed me that I was wrong.” 

Sam was quiet, her brown eyes watching Alex carefully as she spoke. She didn’t judge, she was waiting patiently for her to get what she needed off her chest. 

“I don’t know if I can love again after her.” The words hung heavy in the air, weighted by the days, weeks, almost months, spent in emotional turmoil over that one doubt that plagued her every day. "Maybe I was right in the first place. Maybe I'm meant to be alone." 

Sam noticed. Alex flinched as her arms wrapped around her torso- an instinctive response, but Alex felt herself slowly melt in her warm, sturdy embrace. 

“You have friends. You have me, you have Ruby, you even have Lena. It might not be romantic love, but you mean the world to us, okay? You're not going to be alone." Sam's smile turned mischievous, "Not if Ruby has anything to say about it. She's asking for you to come to her school for their Career Fair." 

That made Alex laugh, and a little bit of pressure eased off her chest. "No way, really?" 

"Apparently, my job is 'boring business stuff' and nobody wants to hear about that," Sam added. 

 

Alex woke up first. Her eyes adjusted to the dawn light, the warmth of the sun on her skin, filtering in through the partially open curtain. 

She was staring at the ceiling. She didn't usually sleep on her back like this. That struck her as odd, as well as one other thing. 

A click, down the hallway. A closed door. Ruby, trudging down the hallway to the bathroom. 

A soft huff, and the weight on her chest shifted. A hand snuck around her waist, firmly securing her in place without meaning to. 

Sam let out a soft little sigh, and Alex felt her underwire digging into her ribs as Sam shuffled around again, in the process of waking up. 

She did what any self-respecting lesbian would do when waking up to their presumably straight friend napping on them, using their boobs as a pillow. 

She very gingerly tried to ease from her grip, but Sam let out a grumpy noise in her sleep, and her arms held her even tighter. 

She slowly came to grips with the fact that this was her life now. A streak of golden light from the crack in the curtains passed across Sam's sleeping form. She was fully kryptonian, and she'd turned Alex into a body pillow. 

Maybe this wasn't so bad. She wasn't cold. She was a little bit uncomfortable, sure, but she hadn't slept with someone - actual sleeping, Alex, get your head out of the gutter - in so long. She wasn't used to the cold, impassiveness of an empty bed, even though she'd slept in one for most of her life before... 

 

Sam was very,  _ very  _ comfortable. She felt like she understood what it was like to be a cat, curled up in a little patch of sunlight on the ground. Her whole body was  _ singing  _ with new energy as the sun's light bathed her in warmth. 

That steady heartbeat - which was what had woken her up. It was just that little bit faster now. The steady rise and fall, the rush of air, inhalation, exhalation-

She took in a deep breath, and nuzzled into the softness underneath her. She wanted to wrap herself in the sense of comfort that came from those few sounds. 

"Not that I'm complaining... but... you know where you are, right?" 

Sam's eyes shot open at Alex's voice, which, while it was quiet, reverberated through her chest and into Sam's ears, which had been fine-tuned to follow the sounds of Alex breathing. 

She shot up, staring down at Alex, and saw her flushed face, her shy awkward smile, and - 

"Oh! You're- I'm sorry," She shook her head to get rid of the little thrills that were shooting through her mind- what was that even? She shoved those down, she didn't want to give Alex the wrong impression. "I was-" 

"Listening to my heart," Alex filled in with a slow nod. "You couldn't sleep last night because of the noise." 

"Yeah," 

"Kara told you to listen for my heartbeat." 

"That's it. I just-... I must have... I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." 

Alex shook her head, and let her hand brush against Sam's as she moved to get out of bed. The simple contact thrilled Sam again and she didn't quite understand why. Alex bent over to tug on her boots, and Sam was momentarily captivated with the play of toned muscles beneath the thin white fabric. "You didn't. Ruby's awake." 

And like that, the spell was broken. 


	5. Proving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you know exactly why you're here  
> domestic agentreign   
> more slow burn goodness  
> lena freakin' luthor  
> leave a comment

Ruby's face lit up when she saw Alex walk into the kitchen. Her spoon clattered into the bowl, and her grin spread from ear to ear. 

Sam would have been upset about Alex coming in and becoming the favourite instantly, but she couldn't really be jealous, not when Alex was sitting with her red hair tousled so early in the morning, a broad smile on her face as she sauntered over, sliding onto a stool and resting her elbows on the counter. 

Alex was just excited to be there, honestly. It was a bright new day, and while part of her was a little bit hazy from a lack of sleep, the other side was invigorated, and oddly giddy for reasons she couldn't quite make sense of. Sam gave her that sunshine smile she usually reserved for Ruby, and slid a cup of coffee towards her. 

Alex stared down at it for a second, into the dark depths. She could see herself reflected in the surface, eyes wide. "Just the way I like it." 

When she glanced up, Sam shot her a wink, and that eye-crinkling smile came back. 

With a clatter, Ruby finished her cereal and jumped down from the stool. "Can I bring leftover pizza to school for recess?" She asked.

"Why?" 

"Because it's Thursday," 

"Is there a special occasion?" 

"Yeah, I just said. It's Thursday." 

Alex decided to play devil’s advocate, for the hell of it. "She has a point. It's one day 'till the weekend." 

"Yeah. What Alex said." 

"You can't reheat it. You'll have cold pizza for recess. I've already paid for canteen food." 

"Yeah but Thursdays are tuna casserole. I don't want tuna." 

This went on for quite some time. Alex regretted agreeing with Ruby when she repeatedly brought up the fact that Thursdays were cause for celebration. Ruby was persistent, but Sam was steadfast, and with her hands on her hips and a raise of her eyebrows Ruby relented, slinking back to her room to collect her things. 

That left Alex and Sam in the kitchen, alone with nothing but the soft voice on the morning radio delivering the traffic report. 

Sam leaned against the opposite counter. Alex tried not to make a big deal about how she was basically as far as possible from her in that moment. 

She felt a little raw, that Sam was now ignoring her after she’d shared so much about herself. Maybe she’d overshared. Maybe Sam was uncomfortable. 

She glanced at Sam again. Her brunette locks partially obscured her face as she re-buttoned her shirt. She was still on the far side of the kitchen, leaning against the counter, not making any attempt to take a seat. 

Uncomfortable. She was uncomfortable - but not for the reason that Alex thought. 

Sam felt like she’d overstepped. Like she’d crossed one of Alex’s boundaries, and now the guilt was threatening to eat her alive. In her haste to get into her work clothes in an effort to restructure her day she’d skipped a button and it was all out of line. 

She only noticed when Ruby left, and she had no excuse not to talk to Alex. 

Alex was a badass. She was a genius. She was kind, and caring, but she flinched when Sam got too close, when Sam got too touchy. It sucked, but Sam would try to hold back on the hugging. She just - she just really liked Alex. She fit into their lives so perfectly and she cared so much. Sam was a businesswoman second, and a mother first. She liked showing people she cared through hugs. 

But Alex didn’t seem to appreciate being used as a pillow, and now they were both really awkward. 

Sam put her own hangups aside, and crossed the space between them, resting her hands on the countertop. Alex raised her eyebrows, watching her, making no move from where she sat. She patiently waited for Sam to speak. 

Sam cleared her throat. “I’m sorry if I crossed a line yesterday. I know you’re...” She didn’t know how to put it. She wanted to let Alex know she wasn’t going to keep crowding her. 

Alex felt her muscles tense. She got an entirely different message from Sam’s unfinished sentence, and she cut her off. “It’s fine, Sam.” 

She saw Alex close in on herself a bit, using a singing bird as an excuse to cast her gaze to the side. She was on the defensive, she probably didn’t want Sam making a big deal of it. “It won’t happen again.” 

“It’s not considered part of my surveillance.” Right. The reason why she was here. “It wasn’t protocol anyways. You can sleep in your own room.” 

Sam didn’t know why, but her heart sank a little at that. 

Alex wondered why she ever shared so much about herself in the first place. 

 

Alex tried to brighten up her day a little bit. She gave Ruby a pat on the shoulder as she went over to the door to get her leather jacket. “Fish is brain food, you know.” 

Ruby pouted, shouldering her backpack with a sigh. “It tastes like cat food.” 

Alex stifled a laugh. “How do you know what cat food tastes like?” 

Ruby was caught out, but just for a moment. She was getting a penchant for rolling her eyes, and she gave Alex a cheeky smile. “I have an imagination.” 

Ruby was sharp, quick-witted, and chatting to her always brought a little ray of sunshine into Alex’s day. “That you do.” 

“Are you in trouble with my mom?” Ruby asked, in the guileless and upfront way that kids often asked complex questions. Alex reeled from the complete one-eighty, brought back to that pocket of self-loathing that had resurfaced from Sam’s comments. 

“I think we just had a little misunderstanding. It’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.” 

“Mhmm,” Ruby hummed, “That’s what adults say when things are  _ super  _ complicated but they don’t want to admit they need help.” She gave Alex a tight-lipped smile, swinging back on her heels, and Alex narrowed her eyes. 

That kid was a lot smarter than she let on. She wasn’t going to tell her anything, though, because there was something strange in telling Ruby about how her mother fell asleep on her chest and was now worried that Alex would get the wrong idea. “I don’t need help.” 

Alex was relieved to see Sam heading down the hallway a moment later, her makeup freshly applied, her hair in place. She slid her heels on, becoming an extra few inches taller than Alex, and ushered them to the car. 

It was a terse ride to Ruby’s school, but Alex didn’t let it show. She took the back seat after seeing Ruby’s constant glances to the front on the walk to the car. 

As soon as the car was parked, Ruby already had her hand on the door, but Sam tutted and reached towards her. 

“C’mere, give mom a hug before you go.” 

Ruby rolled her eyes in the way that said  _ ugh so embarrassing  _ and gave her a quick one-armed hug. Sam’s face softened and her eyes closed for a moment before Ruby was out, shouting a quick “Bye Alex!” as she scampered off to meet her friends. 

As she climbed out of the car and swapped to the front, she took a quick glance at her surroundings. Kids filtering off the school bus, breaking off into groups and greeting their friends. Parents giving their kids a wave before going to school, little kids giving big hugs before going off towards the doors, older kids straining against parents who were embarrassing them. 

She slid into the car, Sam waited for her to put her seatbelt on before putting the car into gear. As they drove from the school, Alex wondered where her normally infallible intuition had gone wrong. 

 

The L-Corp building was so clean. 

Alex had showered and put the same clothes she’d worn yesterday. She made a note to ask Kara to drop some of her clothes off at the Arias’ when she saw her next. That probably wouldn’t be too far off, knowing Kara’s habit of visiting L-Corp at random points throughout the day. 

The building was so clean, and Alex had done a sniff-check on her shirt before going in. 

“I don’t usually have people following me into work.” Sam’s voice wasn’t clipped. It was more... distracted. Alex glanced at her and noticed her eyes flickering towards random points of the room, and she figured her senses must be going haywire with all the extra sound sources. 

“I’ll be your bodyguard for the day.” The thought amused Alex, and it seemed to bring a smile to Sam’s face as well. 

“I think at this point, I should be the one protecting you.” Her smile turned into a smirk, and Alex rolled her eyes at the absurdity of the notion. 

“You don’t have training.” 

“I don’t need training,” Sam postured a little bit, drawing herself up to her full height. With heels, she was a few inches taller than Alex, so she glanced down at her and grinned. “Natural talent.” 

“Do you want to have a bodyguard or not? I could be your parole officer instead.” 

Sam glared, and it was Alex’s turn to smirk. 

 

It was boring. Alex was glad she had her phone. 

Sam’s job was so boring. 

_ So  _ boring, and she seemed to get some kind of perverse pleasure from doing it. Alex saw her  _ grin  _ when she looked at a spreadsheet. She wanted to call J’onn that instant and bring Sam in. No sane human being smiled when looking at a spreadsheet. 

She talked to Alex a little bit, but most of her time was spent dealing with numbers. She seemed to really like dealing with numbers. 

Sometimes she was on the phone to various people. Investors. Shareholders. Contractors. 

Alex felt like her brain was slowly turning to mush inside her skull, and she needed to do something other than daydream on the couch in Sam’s office or read the outdated Catco magazines on her coffee table. 

An idea came to her when she flipped onto page 29 of last month’s magazine, there was a double-page fitness spread. She glanced over at Sam, who was happily clacking away at her keyboard. 

“Mind if I get through my morning workout here?” 

Sam glanced over to her, staring at her for a moment before tilting her head to one side, confused. “You have workouts for different times of the day?” 

Alex scratched at the back of her neck. “Usually I try to get at least one in.” Sam glanced down briefly before nodding at her. 

“Sure.” 

Alex had never been happier to take off her jacket, get to the ground, and start a fresh set of push ups. 

 

Lena heard some interesting noises that had her stop, just outside Sam’s office. Heavy breaths. Soft whispers. 

She wondered if finally -  _ finally  _ \- her very subtle and gentle suggestions had worked.

 

She’d stopped counting, and was going until she fell. Her arms burned, and every push up came with a sharp breath, but she was still going. After this, sit ups, then maybe some crunches, and then she’d see how she felt about leg raises. 

Sam found it all  _ very  _ distracting. 

She didn’t want to tell her off for distracting her, because before she’d been fidgeting constantly, like she needed something to do. She probably didn’t even know she was distracting. 

She bit the end of her pen as she watched Alex’s toned shoulders, the ridge of her spine, the skin visible just above the bottom of her jeans as she continued to go up, down, up, down, her breathing slightly laboured, red hair bobbing with every motion-

“Good to have you back, Samantha.” Lena’s voice startled her, she flinched, and the metal pen in her hand made a very high pitched creak as it was dented between her fingertips. 

Lena’s eyes widened, glancing between the pen and Sam’s shocked expression. 

Alex jumped up, rubbing her hands together to get the imprint of the carpet out of them. Her skin had pinked and had the slightest shimmer of sweat. 

“Agent.” Lena tilted her head in her direction. 

“Luthor,” Alex replied, taking the seat across from Sam’s desk and sitting in it. 

Lena was very disappointed in Sam, and the most frustrating part of it all was having to keep her disappointment to herself. She pursed her lips, glancing between the two oblivious idiots, trying to see if there was any evidence of her plan coming to fruition. 

Nothing. 

Alex looked like she’d just done fifty push ups because she was bored. Sam looked like she’d been startled out of a daydream. Absolutely nothing implied that they had hooked up.

She gave Sam a wide smile, tilting her head back and handing her a thick manilla folder. “This is what the standing CFO managed to do while you were gone.” 

Sam’s smile in return was soft and overly eager. “Thanks, I really should be going over this all. You know how replacements can be.” 

“The only big things are - “ And she entered a full recount that had Alex wanting to die. Really. She had no idea that the high flying corporate CEO/CFO life that Lena and Sam lead was so... 

Dry. 

Her reprieve came when she heard Lena’s assistant talking about a Catco reporter coming in for a meeting. 

Sam and Lena were continuing to talk shop, so Alex ducked out of Sam’s office for a moment and Kara jumped in surprise. 

“Alex!” Her eyes blew wide, and her surprise turned into confusion. “What- what are you doing here?” 

“Working.” 

 

Lunch was nice. Sam poked at a cherry tomato that rolled around her salad container. When the fork punctured the tomato  _ and  _ the container, leaving four perfect indentations in the table beneath, Alex remembered why she was here. 

This wasn’t just a friendly “take your resident secret agent to work” day. This was kryptonian supervision. 

“It’ll get better with practice,” Alex said, and when Sam continued to stare in surprise at the fork, standing vertical in the container, she reached forward and placed a hand on Sam’s. 

Sam flinched away. Alex tried not to feel hurt. “Sorry,” 

“It’s okay.” 

Alex returned to her burger. Sam stared at her for a moment before it all boiled over. 

“Gosh, I hate when things are awkward. Why is everything so awkward?” 

Alex brought her hand up to cover her mouth as she swallowed. “I’m not good with people. Don’t ask me to read into subtext or anything. I’m trying to help, Sam, nothing more than that.” 

“Then why are you acting so different?” 

“Because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Alex said with a sigh, putting down her burger. This conversation was heavy, and she wasn’t feeling like eating anymore. “Look, I get that talking to you about my ex made you uncomfortable. I really don’t have any ulterior-“ 

“You think I’m uncomfortable with you being  _ gay _ ?!” Sam said, and she really didn’t have a grasp on the volume of her voice because three people turned from their lunches to stare at them. A quick glance from Sam had them turning back to their work, as Alex poked at her lunch. “Alex, I’d never have a problem with that. Shit, I’m- I’m sorry if you thought that.” Sam reached over and grabbed Alex’s hand. A little too tightly, Alex held back a wince as Sam’s thumb dug into the back of her hand. “I just thought that you didn’t like hugs.” 

“Who doesn’t like hugs?” Alex asked, voice pitched higher in disbelief, and Sam laughed. 

“You, apparently. You keep flinching.” She let go of Alex’s hand, and eyed her fries. 

Shit. She didn’t know why she kept on doing that, and Sam had picked up on it. Alex noticed her gaze, and rolled her eyes. “Yep. Knew that salad wouldn’t be enough.” She took a handful of fries, stuffed them into her face before pushing the rest towards Sam. 

Sam looked at her like she’d handed her the sun on a silver platter. “You’re my favourite person.” 

“Shut it,” Alex murmured around her mouthful of fries, and Sam burst into laughter. 

-

“How was school, baby?” 

Ruby tossed her bag into the back seat, it hit the opposite door as she clambered in and replied to Sam’s question with a very eloquent “Meh.” 

Alex saw Sam roll her eyes with a fond smile as she started driving. 

“Are you staying over again?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Great, cause I got science homework, and then after that there’s like, a whole chapter of math questions that-“ 

Alex glanced at Sam when she saw her smile brighten. No way. What a nerd. Nobody got that excited over math. 

“Your mom can help with the math questions.” 

“She’s a terrible teacher. She just ends up doing it herself.” 

“Hey, I’m an okay teacher.” 

“I can’t believe you willingly do your kid’s math homework,” Alex chuckled under her breath, and it was just quiet enough that only Sam could hear it. 

“You can do your own homework then. I need to borrow Alex for the afternoon.” 

 

Alex was relieved to be back at the Arias’. Sam took a moment to get out of her work clothes, giving Alex free access to the kitchen so she whipped herself up a cup of coffee while she waited. 

Ruby retreated to her bedroom, not a moment later Alex heard the kind of upbeat pop music that Kara liked filtering down the hallway.

Speaking of - Alex heard the telltale sound of footsteps landing in the backyard, and saw Kara in full Supergirl costume, waving at her with a duffel bag in one hand. 

A change of clothes. What a relief. Alex unlocked the door, and Kara held out the bag. 

“I gotta be off real quick. I got a massive article to write after I’m done with my rounds.” She gave Alex a quick one-armed hug, and after Sam nearly crushed her hand at lunch she took a moment to appreciate how Kara managed to not constantly kill people with her enthusiastic hugs. 

She took the bag from Kara, it had some weight to it. She hoped Kara didn’t dig through her drawers too much, there was no telling what she would find.“What was the best thing that helped you with your super strength?” 

“Flowers,” Kara said simply, and the memory brought a smile to Alex’s face. 

“Right, okay. I’m helping Sam a little. You should come over one day, give her advice.” 

Kara nodded, and her cheeks were rosy as she smiled. “Always willing to help out a friend! I really have to go.” 

“Then go.” Alex rolled her eyes, closing the door behind her. She heard Kara say something to her through the closed door, but she was already heading back to the guest room, ready to change into something more comfortable. 

She was pulling on a white woolen sweater when the door swung open and Sam walked in. 

“She’s not going to do her homework,” She said with a sigh, before turning to face Alex with a wide smile. “Teach me how to fly.” 

“You want me to  _ what? _ ” Alex didn’t think she heard her right. Sam grabbed her arm, her smile turning into a full blown grin as she tugged at Alex’s arm. 

“Teach me how to fly! You know about kryptonians and-“ 

“I think Kara will have to teach you that. I don’t have a lot of experience in flying. I can teach you something else though.” 

Which was what had them out in the backyard. It was a mild early-spring day, and while there was a bite to the breeze, the late afternoon sun was still warm on their skin. 

Alex had Sam sit on a patio chair while she walked around the garden, coming back with a bunch of flowers. Pristine daisies with pure white petals. 

Sam felt her cheeks warm as Alex walked over, holding it out for her. 

“Aww, Alex-“ She took the flowers from Alex’s hand, their fingers brushing. 

“This is part of the lesson.” 

“Oh, yeah. Right,” Sam felt embarrassed for a moment, and Alex smirked as she sat down on the grass across from her. 

“How to not crush things 101. First step, making daisy chains.” 

Sam felt something inside her shift at Alex’s soft smile as she threaded daisies together. The slowly setting sun against her skin, the offset crimson of her hair. She had her legs pulled up underneath her, and she looked incredibly calm and at ease, her movements delicate as she cradled each flower. 

Sam looked down at the mess of her own hands. The green scent of crushed plant matter, the fibrous threads from the daisy stems, crushed petals. A little knot of frustration started pounding in her head, she felt a surge of heat rush down her arms. “I feel like I need to relearn everything.” She clenched her hands into fists involuntarily. 

“It won’t be easy,” Alex’s voice was calming, and it eased that odd pounding in her head somewhat. She glanced down at her hands, and saw her knuckles were white. “But I know you’ll be able to.” 

She opened her palm. She’d crushed one of the daisies into what was basically liquid. 

The implications were clear as day. 

She heard Alex shift slightly, a little bit closer, and she angled her head downwards in an attempt to catch Sam’s gaze. “Sam?” 

“I just want to be normal, Alex.” Her breath came out as a rush, and the burning heat in her muscles faded, as did that pounding frustration in her head. She closed her eyes against oncoming tears, and brought her hands to her knees. “Why did this have to happen to me? What did I do wrong?” 

Alex was tough, but when she was so gentle when she put down the daisy chain she'd been working on and brought her hand up to cup Sam's jaw, directing her to look at her. The frustration had burned through her, and now she felt helpless, but opening her eyes to see Alex's soft expression, feel her gentle hand on her face, the scent of crushed daisies and fresh grass, the cold late afternoon air and Alex. 

She felt a seismic shift inside her chest. It would have been barely noticeable if not for the radiating impact of it through the rest of her body. Alex's lips quirked up into that soft, affectionate smile. 

Sam brought her hand up to frame Alex's hand. Gingerly. Delicate. She focused on the feeling of her skin under her fingertips, the faint flutter of her pulse beneath her skin, the shifting of muscle and tendon as she stroked at Sam's cheek. She pushed gently, and felt Alex's hand against her face now with just a fraction more pressure. 

The agent's eyes fluttered shut, and for a moment she was shy, her red hair falling to cover her face briefly before she flicked her hair out of her face. Her eyes glittered with amusement, and she gently took her hand away. 

Sam felt the cold air replace the warmth of Alex's hand, and she sighed at the loss of contact. 

"I can't believe you have me here making daisy chains," Alex said with a snort, and the change in tone was so abrupt it had Sam reeling, as did her next action which was to take the delicate circlet of daisies she'd been working on, and place it on Sam's head. "You totally have control over your powers.," 

"I - are you missing the part where I completely pulverised that flower?" Sam blinked, taken aback slightly as Alex narrowed her eyes at her, a teasing glint in her eye as she adjusted the crown with the tenderest of touches. 

"This was all a ruse to get me to do something dorky and lame." She pointed her finger at Sam, and scrunched up her nose with the intensity of how hard she was fake-glaring.  "Well, I'm onto you Samantha Arias." 

If she intended for Sam to burst into laughter, forgetting all her worries for a brief moment in the sun, then she sure as hell succeeded. 

 

The more Sam thought about her super strength, the more she started to see a trend. It was when she got frustrated, or surprised, that it was a lot harder to control. 

They were preparing dinner, Sam was watching the stove while Alex was showing off her knife skills, chopping up vegetables for stew. Sam saw her flipping the knife around in her periphery, doing tricks which would catch Ruby's attention. 

Her powers seemed to really come into play when she was annoyed, which began to be a problem when Ruby started complaining about school. Usually it wasn't an issue, Sam accepted that Ruby needed to vent otherwise she'd keep it all pent up inside. 

Still, if she had to listen about Carter Willingham's annoying bottle flipping one more time- 

"Hey Ruby, watch this." Alex had seen Sam's expression slowly grow more strained, and she figured it'd be good to distract Ruby so she grabbed the knife by the sides of the blade and flipped it, catching it by the handle with a grin. 

Ruby gasped - "You need to show me how to do that!"

Sam replied with a resolute no while Alex just smiled and said "When you're older. How about I just show you the proper technique for chopping things super fast?" 

That was more than enough to have Ruby distracted. Ruby didn't seem to be phased with the deflection, she was actually interested in helping. Sam had gotten her to help a few times, with simple tasks like peeling vegetables or grating cheese. Never anything with knives - maybe she was a bit overprotective, but she couldn't watch the stove and have Ruby with a knife at the same time. 

She trusted Alex though, especially when she saw her demonstrating how to hold the vegetables so her fingers wouldn't get in the way. Ruby took twice as long as Alex to cut through three carrots, and they were varying shapes and sizes, but she was immensely proud of her work.

On Alex's suggestion she'd made twice the amount. It seemed excessive until Sam was scooping out the last of the stew from the dish, the spoon grating against the base as she filled up her plate the third time. 

Ruby stared with an expression of quiet awe, she herself was on her second helping but then again, she was a growing pre-teen. 

Sam was eating with a vigor that Ruby had never really seen before. Like she'd been starving for hours, like she'd never seen food before. 

Years of eating with a kryptonian sibling had trained Alex to expect the ridiculous appetite, she'd taken a large serving at first, and barely bat an eyelash at Sam's enthusiastic eating habits. 

It was Ruby who commented on it. "Mom, didn't you say you were on a diet?" 

"Diets are a scam," was her response, and Ruby glanced at Alex to see her nodding with a smile on her face. 

"Okay well... you told me to remind you so you didn't give up your New Year's resolution too early. Like last year, when you said you were going to start dating again, but you kept on putting it off and the year before that you said you were going to try and make some new friends but you didn't and then-" Ruby was basically pulling out receipts for every single year that she could remember, and Alex watched as Sam's spoon bent in her hand before she cut her off. 

"Okay, okay. I'm terrible with resolutions. We all know that now. Do you want to tell Alex anything else about me that she doesn't need to know?" 

"You snore." Ruby grinned. "It sounds like a chainsaw." 

Alex laughed. "I already knew that." 

The table went silent for a moment, as both Arias girls stared at Alex. One in confusion, and the other with dangerously narrowed eyes. 

"Uh, yeah. Sleepovers, duh." 

"Oh my god, those must be the  _ worst _ ," Ruby giggled, "Whenever me and my friends have a sleepover-" That was a dodged bullet. As the adrenaline of the moment wore off, she glanced at Sam to see her smiling to herself. 

 

Alex wondered if she should stay up for a little while. 

Ruby had already been sent off to bed, and Sam was in the bathroom, Alex could faintly hear the sound of rushing water and off-key humming. 

She should have known that Sam would be the kind of person to sing in the shower. 

While she was waiting, she moved to her duffle bag, unzipping it and fishing out the lead box that had been stashed underneath her layers of clothes. She ran her thumb along the biometric scanner and the box flipped open, revealing her last resort.  

It was already loaded with green kryptonite bullets. She had a few extra rounds of ammunition, and a syringe if all else failed. 

She hoped she didn't have to use any of it. 

It felt heavy in her hand, a faint green glow in the dusk light. She checked the balance, before putting it back in the box. She glanced about for a place to put it, and decided to just stash it in one of the drawers of the night stand for now. 

As well as that, she had her phone charger, a bag of toiletries, quite a few sweaters, a few nice pairs of pants. She dug through, and finally came upon what she wanted. 

Sleep shorts. 

"Thank you Kara," she said to the empty room. She was relieved to just get out of the tight jeans that she'd been wearing all day. Not the most uncomfortable, but not the best either. 

She listened out for the sound of the shower. She could still hear it running, so she knew she had some time. 

She was meant to be keeping an eye on Sam, but at this point she couldn't see anything that would suggest anything seriously bad. Sure, Sam's strength was flaring up now and again, and her super senses were driving her up the wall, but apart from that she was just Sam. Alex had a gut feeling that Sam would be fine. 

When she got into bed, and rested with her arms behind her head as she usually did, eyes towards the ceiling, her mind went back to that moment in the back garden. Her brunette hair cascading over her shoulders, a crown of tiny little flowers, the soft way her eyes crinkled when she laughed. 

The memory lingered as there was a soft knock on the door, and Sam's head peeked through. "Can I come in?" 

Sam was nervous. She could see Alex on the bed, still awake, now she was getting into a sitting position, her biceps flexing as she brought herself up. Her nose wrinkled when she smiled and patted the spot next to her. "Can't sleep?" 

"Just here for another sleepover." She said the last word with a raised eyebrow, and Alex chuckled as she recalled that moment at dinner. 

"You really do snore though," Alex said as Sam got ready to get into bed next to her. Her skin was still warm from the shower, and Alex caught a sickly sweet artificial strawberry scent clinging to her. 

"If it bothers you that much..." She paused with one leg on the mattress, her hands on the blankets, and Alex scoffed, reaching over to tug at her arm. 

"Get over here." She smiled, and was surprised to see Sam tumble into bed as she pulled. Maybe she hadn't expected it. 

She moved around a lot, jostling Alex as she got comfortable under the covers, pulling them up to her chin, but she didn't curl up close to Alex this time. There was a gap, a hand's width between them, and she faced Alex with her head on an actual pillow. 

Alex slumped down so her own head was on her own pillow. Sam's eyes watched her, and so Alex watched her in return, waiting for her to relinquish what was on her mind. 

It was like a game of chicken, they both watched each other for an obscene amount of time before Sam's eye twitched, and she blinked. 

"I win," Alex whispered. That was all that was needed for Sam's resolve to crack, and she laughed. 

"You're such a dork. A staring contest? Really?" She paused for a moment, taking a breath, and shaking her head, glancing away from Alex before looking back at her with a grin. "I'm glad I have you as a friend." 

"Me too," Alex said, then narrowed her eyes as she mulled over the words. "Wait. No. I mean, I'm also glad to have  _ you  _ as a friend. You know what I mean." She didn't know why she was flustered. 

It made Sam laugh even more, and she shuffled around a bit, getting comfortable with her back to Alex. "I'm going to sleep now."

Alex turned around, with her back to Sam now she felt - odd. She could feel Sam's presence, she could hear her gentle breathing, the blankets rustling as she got comfortable.

But it didn't make sense for her to be so far away. 

"Good night, Sam." 

"'Night Alex." 

 

This time, Sam woke up without Alex. It made her uneasy. She wondered if she'd made her uncomfortable again. 

The redhead was already in the kitchen, pouring out coffee as Sam walked in. She seemed well rested, a red shirt underneath her leather jacket, tight jeans and the boots she always seemed to wear. 

Sam's eyes dragged her way back up her body after her appraisal to see Alex hold out a mug- her mug, already with her coffee in it. 

"You're my favourite person." It just slipped out, and Sam was embarrassed until Alex smiled, ducking her head as Sam walked over, took the cup, and resisted the urge to squish her with a great big hug for being so thoughtful when she felt so tired. 

"I've got to run into work today," she explained her state of dress as she got her own mug, taking a sip. "I'll see you when you get back." 

Sam paused for a moment, glancing at Alex from the corner of her eye. "You think I'll be okay?" 

Alex appeared unperturbed. She sipped at her coffee with raised eyebrows before bringing it down to explain. "We've got contact with Lena, and you know Supergirl is only a second away if anything happens." That last bit was added with a slight eyebrow raise. 

"They really are  _ close  _ friends, aren't they?" Sam commented, and Alex let out a snort. 

"Lena has her wrapped around her little finger. It's ridiculous." She gestured with the mug in her hand. "I've never seen someone be so... mindlessly loyal before." 

"Their friendship is quite extreme. I thought they were dating at first." 

"I don't think Kara can tell that Lena likes her. I don't think that Kara can tell that she likes Lena either." 

They both paused for a moment, sipping at their coffees in that brief reprieve before the morning rush began. 

 

When Alex saw the DEO calling, she'd had a brief moment of panic - she hadn't written up any reports, or given status updates at all during her watch. She'd barely even been keeping watch at all. 

But it was only J'onn, calling for something very different. 

It was the muted colours of pre-dawn, and Alex had been napping on the couch for two hours now. Her phone continued to vibrate incessantly, rattling against the floor, and she quickly snatched it up, answering it in one swift motion. 

"Danvers." 

_ "Good. You're here. We'll need you in at some point today."  _ Alex rubbed at her eyes, and the words sank in. 

"Who's going to watch Sam?" 

_ "Ms Luthor has agreed to watch over her while you're at the DEO. I've already called her to notify her of what's going on."  _

_ " _ What  _ is  _ going on?" 

" _ This isn't the kind of conversation you have over the phone. I'll see you in a few hours."  _

 

"You're positively  _ glowing. _ " When Lena entered the room, she made sure everyone in the room was totally aware of her presence without even trying. She strode into Sam's office, pushing aside some files to sit, perched next to her, a salacious grin on her face. 

Sam raised an eyebrow at her, not quite understanding where she was coming from. 

Lena rolled her eyes and scoffed. "I'm surprised to see you haven't brought in your pet spy." 

"She's at work," Sam replied, and her response was clipped. That didn't deter Lena, though. 

She rested her hand on her chin, thinking for a moment, her piercing eyes studying Sam. "You seem bothered by that." 

"Not bothered by that. Bothered by you." 

"I'm just  _ implying _ that you and the agent are quite a pair. It's odd to see one without the other."

"Lena...” She started to pick up on the very obvious hints she was dropping, and she gave her a very pointed look. 

"Okay, fine. I think you and Alex should hook up, okay? She's hot. You're hot. She's single, you're single - and in damn need of a good shagging." Sam's eyes grew wide and she opened her mouth to protest but Lena cut her off. "No, don't even try to deny it. Sam, when's the last time you went out?" 

"What do you even mean? I go out." 

"Without Ruby. At night. To something that wasn’t work related,” 

“We went to Root&Shaw’s last - shit. Last year?” 

“And that was for my birthday, and that wasn’t for long because my quarterly assassination attempt came early.” She leaned forward, gently resting her hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Listen. I love you. I don’t love you like  _ that _ . Alex  _ could  _ love you like  _ that.  _ It would be perfect.” 

She had to find a way to word this gently. She put her hands onto the counter, sighing deeply. “Lena, you know I’m not...” 

Lena’s dark lips parted into a lecherous smile. “Not straight? Yes I know that-“ 

“I'm- I'm not looking for anything,” She finished with a pointed glance, and Lena held back what she was about to say. “I’ve got Ruby. I don’t even- I don’t like Alex like that. I’m not...” She didn’t want to say she wasn’t  _ gay,  _ because she’d already found out that she was definitely not as straight as she tried to pretend she was. 

But that was another can of worms, and she didn’t want to go through that now. She didn’t want to think about that, not when Ruby had already been bullied because her mom raised her alone. Kids could be cruel. Sam didn’t want her daughter to feel like she was an outcast because of her... her _sexuality_. It wouldn't be an issue if she wasn't with anyone, right? 

“There’s nothing between us. We’re just good friends.” Sam said. 

“Whatever you say, Samantha.”  Lena raised an eyebrow with a knowing smirk. Her piercing pale gaze was eerie, it was like she was reading her like a book. Sam had nothing to hide, so she didn't know why she suddenly felt exposed.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want these damn nerds to KISS why am i torturing myself with slowburn! 
> 
> comments fuel the writer :P so comment. even if it's just to say that you read the chapter! just leave a smiley face in the comments or something i don't mind. i just love comments and they help keep me motivated (and focused on finishing this fic)


	6. Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winn and Alex continue to puzzle over the mystery machine. Sam goes through an... awakening. There's a game night. Bed sharing trope. 
> 
> Was this worth the wait? It's up to you to decide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, i'm not dead, just distracted with art/life/women!   
> i'm daskey on tumblr, come yell at me on or off anon, i'm always up for a chat x

##  Intentions

It was a hunk of twisted metal, still smoking slightly. J'onn was staring at it as Alex entered, and Winn was bouncing around on his heels. 

"This is what I need you two to analyse. It was found discarded outside of an apartment fire which Supergirl dealt with-" 

Of course, her name was said, and with a gust of wind she appeared, still suited up. "Yeah?" she asked, eagerly looking at J'onn. 

"This." He gestured at the machine. Kara looked at it for a moment, narrowing her eyes before - 

"Oh, yeah! A weird machine. The guy tried to use it on me, and it made me feel weird for a second, it was a bit like one of those ghostbusters proton packs, had this big-" She gestured in front of her, making a  _ woosh  _ noise. 

Winn was bewildered. Alex was well versed in Kara-speak. "Like some sort of beam of energy?" 

"Yeah!" 

"That made you feel weird?" 

"Yeah. Like I just ate too many tubs of ice cream after a solar flare weird." 

Alex glanced at the smouldering machine. It had a collection of containers stored along the top, and some sort of charred tube extended from one side. 

"The guy tried to toss it into the fire to get rid of it. I managed to catch it, but when I went to catch him he was gone."

"I suspect his burst of speed had something to do with it. I'd like for you two-" He gestured at Alex and Winn. "to see if you can figure out what it does." 

 

It appeared simple enough at first, except Winn didn't entirely have his head in the game. 

"I'm hoping it will be Monopoly, or maybe Mouse Trap! I love Mouse Trap!" Alex struggled to hold back her sigh as Winn continued to poke around in the guts of the charred machine. "Oh? Oh! What's this?" 

She glanced over to see him lifting out what appeared to be something organic. "Get your fingers off that. You're meant to look at the tech stuff." 

"Right, but this whole center section isn't purely tech." 

Alex narrowed her eyes. She was scanning five samples of biological material scraped from the metallic canisters along the top of the device. She pulled at her gloves, stepping over to Winn's hunched form, elbowing him aside.

"Maybe it's Risk?" 

"Stay focused!" 

Alex needed him to shut up. She couldn't quite make sense of what she was seeing in amongst the warped, twisted metal that had been blackened by the fire. 

It looked like... organic material? Wires and metal linking pieces connected hunks of now completely incinerated flesh to the metallic frame. 

It wasn't a very complex machine, but the outside of it was built sturdily, so parts of the visible organic material were still viable underneath a thick layer of charring. 

It reeked as Alex put her hand in without fear, and grasped at one charred segment. It came loose with a slight tug, and Alex inspected the hunk of biological material that came out. It had panels of metal affixed to either side, and partially melted wires that had easily broken off had once connected it to a rather complex internal structure. 

Winn gagged, and stepped aside. "Ew, what is that?" 

Alien organs. She hadn't quite seen anything like it. It needed to be tested, but it sure as hell wasn't human, and the black-speckled blue goop oozing over her latex gloves was telling her it wasn't anything from this planet. 

She felt the presence of someone in the doorway, and turned to see J'onn staring at the organ in her hand with a grim expression. 

"This is not good. Not good at all." 

 

"Okay, so one triple cheeseburger with extra fries and a large shake.” The waitress was cute, a button nose, bright blue eyes and golden blonde hair. Her nose wrinkled when she took in Sam's attire again, she seemed confused by the put-together businesswoman ordering enough food to feed two hungry truckers. 

"That's it, thanks," Sam said, averting her eyes.

"Okay, honey. You want that to go?" 

"No, I'll eat out here." It was a nice day in National City. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the sky was a brilliant blue. After a day cooped up in her office, drowning in paperwork that she'd forgotten about yesterday - she'd been distracted with her bored office guest - the sun on her skin felt freeing. 

"Okay." She gave Sam a rosy smile, one that dimpled her cheeks and made her eyes sparkle, and Sam ducked her head to glance back at the menu, feeling a little uncomfortable under her gaze. The waitress left the patio, tucking her notepad into the front of her black apron. 

The sun. It was making her feel flustered. What was going on with her? It must have been the weather. She was feeling odd, she'd been feeling odd for quite some time, but she'd thought she'd just forgotten about that. 

She took out her phone to distract herself with cat memes and funny pictures that she could add to Finance briefing emails. 

But the internet. The internet was a fickle thing. She could see the loading symbol spinning about on her favourite meme site and this was just - 

Her ears picked up the sound of someone cursing loudly from the street, and a heart rate that was- wrong? It was off. It was stuttering, it wasn't going normally. 

She looked up, turned around, just as an ear-grating  _ screech _ of tires met her ears. 

The man behind the wheel - his heart wasn't beating. The car was speeding forwards at an unprecedented rate, but that wasn't what was catching her attention. 

A woman's arm stretched out in front of her, she was running but she was too slow. 

He stood in front of the car with eyes so wide, he was barely as tall as the nose of the car. A boy, no older than four years old. 

The mother wouldn't make it in time. 

She could  _ feel her terror _ , like a physical thing. Call it the instincts of a mother, call it an actual ability, whatever. Without thinking, Sam vaulted from her seat, rushing forwards, and her body felt  _ invigorated _ , muscles pulsing, her calves burning as she ran forwards, and it was like time slowed down around her. 

She leapt in front of the child, curving around to protect them, bringing him to her chest, her back towards the car, and when she looked at the mother, that fear in her eyes-

She saw herself. At the waterfront. 

CRUNCH. The car slammed into her, and while she had prepared for the impact, she hadn't been prepared for the sudden surge of white-hot pain that coursed through her body as the car hit her, flipping over her and the boy, and landing on its roof, skidding for several feet until gravity brought it to a stop. 

She realised what she'd done when she felt the boy in her arms start to cry, running towards his mother, who had tears of her own on her face, but was looking at Sam in utter bewilderment. 

That stuttering heartbeat, and Sam remembered. That man was having a heart attack. She rushed towards the smoking car, and skidded for a few feet on her knees, grabbing at the door and wrenching it off the car. Sparks flew as it landed somewhere else, and she grabbed the man by the scruff of his shirt, dragging him from the smoking vehicle. 

There were people on the sidewalk, staring, and the man was convulsing, his heartbeat weakening, and she brought him to them, placing him down onto the ground. 

"Someone, help him, call 911!" she shouted, and there must have been something in her voice that convinced them, because the slack-jawed bystanders started to come to consciousness, pulling out phones and she turned back to check on the mother and her boy.

The mother was now off the street, her child in her arms, safe. He was still tearful, and so was she, but she looked at Sam with something akin to awe in her eyes. 

Awe and gratitude. Her hands tightened around her son for a moment. 

The weight of what she'd just done - it hadn't sunk in until then. She hadn't thought about it, she'd just  _ acted _ , because she couldn't just stand idly by whilst someone's child was in danger. 

And then a bright flash caught Sam's attention. Someone off to the side, with a camera, and - oh. Oh. 

Oh no. 

She was fast, getting off the scene, down an alleyway, lunch forgotten, and then it all  _ really  _ hit her. 

Her back, it  _ ached _ . Ripples of pain from where the car had hit, and she groaned as her vision swam. She reached backwards, trying to feel if there were any wounds- there weren't any. 

But her blazer had been  _ shredded _ . She tugged it off to check the damage, and let out a little whimper when she saw the state of the expensive navy blue italian fabric. It looked like a tiger had been at it with its claws. It looked like it had been in a car accident. 

It had been in a car accident. Sam played with the frayed fabric for a moment. No wonder Supergirl wore a suit-

_ No wonder Supergirl wore a suit _ . Regular clothes wouldn't stand it. She glanced down at her knees and - yes, her knees themselves were fine, but she had ripped open two very strange holes in the knees of her expensive pants. 

She couldn't go back to work like this. She needed to get a change of clothing before leaving the alleyway. She tilted her head back and sighed, sinking to the ground of the dank alley. 

The sliver of sky visible between the two tall buildings on either side of her gave her an idea. 

 

"Don't ask," she told the Girl of Steel as she floated down, red cape billowing out behind her. Sam wondered how she kept those red boots hidden under her clothes all day. 

Kara narrowed her eyes at her, blonde hair bobbing as she inspected Sam. Dressed for business, but her clothes were in tatters, her eyes blown wide, her hands trembling. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine. I just..." What did she do? She saved someone's life. She  _ saved  _ someone. Two people, potentially. The smile that was on her face made Kara more confused. "I stopped a car accident. I stopped a car from hitting this - from hitting this kid and then I got the guy who was driving out of his car-" 

"Did anyone see you? Oh, Sam." Kara's face went sour. "We need to tell the DEO." 

"We can't tell the DEO. Alex was meant to be supervising me, but she went into work. She'll be in trouble if they find out that I was using my powers." 

Both Kryptonians stared at each other for a moment before they came to a silent agreement. Neither of them wanted Alex in trouble. 

"It has to be our secret, okay?" She spoke with the sensitive tone that she used on Ruby to get her to trust her. She held onto Kara's arms, and the other kryptonian sighed, locking their forearms together. 

"Okay. What do you need my help with?" 

"I need out of here. Right now. And I need clothes." 

Kara's smile told Sam that she was fighting back her own laughter. "You need a suit if you want to be a vigilante." Not a pantsuit. A  _ suit _ . A hero costume. Because that's what she could be. A hero. 

Something swelled up in her chest. It was a taste of that feeling she'd had when she'd seen that mother reunited with her son. This was the beginning of something, Sam could feel it. She'd made a difference in three people's lives today, and that was just by chance. How many more could she help?

Kara smiled at her, she looked downright giddy. "I know that look on your face. That's the look  _ I  _ had when I saved Alex's plane from crashing." She grinned at Sam. "You feel like... you've found purpose for a part of you that used to feel a lot like a curse." 

Those words, they resonated with her. The curse of Reign, the lingering aftermath of her destruction had been taking a toll on Sam, but now... it felt like it was slowly lifting. She nodded slowly, smiling before she heard the cry of sirens. 

NCPD and the ambulances. Always a few minutes late. "We need to get out of here. Can you fly me out?" 

"Maybe you can fly yourself," Kara said with a broad grin, and Sam was confused until she gripped her forearms tighter and started pulling up from the ground, dragging Sam with her. 

"No, no no I haven't- KARA!" 

 

She was shaking out her red hair, her helmet in one hand. 

Sam didn't realise how much she'd missed seeing the other woman until she watched her leave her helmet on her bike, artfully unzip her jacket so it was only done partway up, and do a little dance while pulling on her belt loops to get her jeans up properly. 

It was such a humanising action, and after the adrenaline-filled day she'd had, flying (flailing) with Kara, preventing a fatal car accident, and interrogating Ruby's new friend's mom, she was feeling rather giddy. It didn't look like Alex had seen her - how could she, she was watching the road for her car while Sam had landed in a back alley after a  _ very  _ shaky solo flight - so she snuck up behind her. 

Of course, she only got a few steps away before Alex couldn't pretend anymore, and she turned around with an amused smile on her lips and one eyebrow arched high. "You know, I could hear you giggling." 

"Shit," Sam whispered underneath her breath, and pulled the agent in for a hug. 

Alex returned it, hugging her tight before widening the space between them again. Sam missed the contact almost immediately, but Alex had a cheeky smile on her face, and was brandishing a long black box. 

"You ready to make the nerds squirm tonight?" 

"I am both curious and concerned." 

"That's what I like to hear," Alex said with a chuckle, and Sam tried not to think too much into that. The two of them made their way upstairs, Alex being as cool as ever, Sam felt like she had raw electricity dancing through her veins, she couldn't stay  _ still _ . 

So that was what she used as her excuse for grabbing Alex’s arm and holding her back just before she knocked on Kara’s apartment door.

She raised an eyebrow at Sam, and tilted her head to the side, red hair framing her face just so. 

She was so used to talking to Alex about things. She wanted to tell her about her day. About the way she’d just... stopped that car. With her  _ spine _ . About how she finally flew, she got to feel the wind in her hair, the ground leave her feet, and she had been  _ weightless -  _ but something was holding her back. 

Brown eyes were waiting expectantly, she’d pursed her lips, she was thinking about what Sam was going to say. Waiting. 

“Ruby’s having a sleepover tonight.” 

Alex nodded. “That explains why you’re going solo.” 

That had been a quick cover. Sam shrugged, nodding. “Yeah.” 

“Cool. So we’re not under a time limit.” Alex knocked on the door, and heard a clatter and a sudden thunderous amount of movement. She wasn’t phased, it was Kara after all. She crossed her arms, and glanced at Sam again before asking, “How did you get here anyways?” 

Flying. She wasn’t about to say that though, no matter how freakin’ cool it was. “I had a driver drop me.” She couldn’t fight the grin on her face. 

“You okay to come back with me on the bike?” Of course. Logistics. Sam appreciated how Alex was always thinking about things like that. 

“That’s fine.” 

The door swung open, and Kara leaned out, grinning wildly and she started to chant, ushering them both in with firm hands on their shoulders. “Game night! Game night! Game night!” 

And of course,  _ of course _ , the gathered people began to chant also, and Sam couldn’t help but laugh, joining in as well just to see Alex’s face progressively get more and more sour. Winn, James and even Lena were getting in on the chanting, and it was just so infectious. 

“Game night-“ Sam leaned in so she was just chanting into Alex’s ear, getting louder and louder as they went. 

“I thought you were special, Samantha,” she hissed under her breath, and Sam threw her head back to laugh, slapping Alex lightly on the arm. 

“Don’t full name me,  _ Alexandra _ .” 

They both glared at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. Sam steadied herself with a hand on Alex’s - very firm, very toned - bicep before finding her way to the couch. 

And then the game began. 

In the warm light of Kara’s apartment, with gentle acoustic pop playing through the speakers, things were discovered. 

One - Lena was way too good at Cards Against Humanity. 

“One of the perks of being a Luthor, I guess. We’re just naturally inclined to be against humanity. It’s in our DNA,” she said haughtily as she snatched up the black card. 

Winn dejectedly cleaned up the rest of the cards, and they all tried so hard to beat the epitome of good humor in the next round. It was a lot harder than it seemed though. 

Throughout the game, and the many rounds, certain... habits became apparent. Kara was too shy to play, way too flustered by how obscene some of the cards were - and embarrassed by the fact that she had to google something that even  _ Winn  _ understood. 

Winn's jokes were of a kind that nobody seemed to understand until he explained it, and by that point the novelty of the joke was ruined. 

James didn’t seem to be very good, his jokes were hamfisted and sometimes he was just outwitted by someone with a better hand, but he took it all in stride, chuckling heartily at the others and taking his judging very seriously.

Alex just really liked putting down cards about murder. By far her favourite was ‘windmill full of corpses’, and she was saving that for later. But the only one who could really give Lena a run for her money was, surprisingly, Sam. 

Her jokes were non-sequiturs. They were total blindsiders, the kind that hit the judge a moment after it was read, that would send the entire table into raucous laughter. 

After another losing round, Alex was getting bored. She was naturally competitive, and the rivalry between Sam and Lena was amusing but she felt like it would be better with some alcohol to wash it down. 

She padded to the kitchen, hearing the tail end of Sam reading the cards out. She’d never thought she’d hear Sam’s honeyed voice proclaiming “Bees? In my vagina? It’s more likely than you think,” but there was a first for everything it seemed. 

So when she walked up to the fridge, she was still smiling to herself. 

And of course, Kara had seen that, and made her own conclusion. She allowed Alex to take her bottle of beer, and go to the countertop. She let Alex uncap it, take a swig from the bottle. She let Alex watch the proceedings with her little veil of disinterest, her eyes would go half-lidded and she’d slouch forward so her elbows were on the countertop. 

Kara let all that happen. She also let Alex prepare to take a big swig of beer before she casually stated - “You and Sam are getting close,”

Alex twitched, and swallowed roughly, nearly choking on her beer. She patted Alex’s back, noticing how Sam was suddenly less interested in the game and was craning her head to the side to see what was happening with Alex. They  _ were  _ getting close. 

“Kara, first of all, you’re evil.” 

Kara giggled. 

“Secondly, there’s nothing happening. I’m watching over her, and I’m her friend. I want her to get better.” 

“But you deserve someone new, especially now you’re...” Kara trailed off, wiggling her eyebrows and nudging Alex. 

In her haze of disgruntlement, Alex could not understand what Kara was implying. She was gesturing, and her eyes were wide behind her thick rimmed glasses, imploring Alex to see some vague point that wasn't quite making sense. 

The blonde finally gave up with a sigh. “You know. You’re finally getting over Maggie.” 

 

Sam noticed when she’d almost choked. She noticed the second time too, when something Kara said made her heart skip a beat, and then it started to pick up, as she took in a breath. 

And then Alex was shouldering past her sister, heading down the short hallway to the bathroom. 

She hadn't been listening to the conversation because of Lena. She was raising an eyebrow every two minutes and giving her a sideways smile, a little less subtle as she'd usually be because of her current state of inebriation. 

She hadn't been listening, but the sudden shift in Alex's demeanor caught her attention, as did the door closing, and her shaky breaths in the tiled room, the way the skin of her palms gripped the porcelain sink. 

 

It felt like her heart was being torn out again, out of grief. 

In the mirror, she looked pale. Her hair was different now. Her eyes were shadowed, they'd seen things. She had new scars, she'd changed. She'd  _ changed.  _ She wasn't the same. Maggie wouldn't be the same if they ever crossed paths. She wasn't naive enough to believe that she was the only one who had grown since their breakup. They'd changed, and so even if she saw her again - 

A few weeks ago, if Maggie had wanted to come back to her, if she'd asked to make up, Alex would have jumped at the opportunity. No questions asked. She would have taken her back, just to be able to have her there again. To fill up the void she'd left behind. 

Now when she thought about it, it wouldn't be fair for either of them. It would have just lead to more problems, more conflict. 

They both deserved someone who wanted the same things. 

But why did that thought shake her so much? 

And how in the  _ hell  _ could Kara tell that she had a little bit of a crush on Sam?

She turned on the tap. Nothing a quick hit of cold water couldn't fix, right? 

She was shaking the damp tips of her hair out in front of the mirror, drying her face off with a hand towel when the door swung open, and Sam stepped in. 

She knew, because it was the same way she'd walked into her room. She pulled the door closed behind her, and just waited. 

She wasn't sure if she could speak, and even if she did, she didn't know what she'd say. The other woman looked... she couldn't explain it if she tried. Alex wasn't always entirely bouncy, but she held herself with a certain swagger, she was confident, Sam didn't ever see her  _ deflated  _ like this. 

So she crossed over to where she was standing now, her hands on either side of the sink, watching Sam through the reflection in the mirror. She wrapped her arms around Alex's waist, and rested her head on her shoulder, glancing at their reflection in the mirror. 

Alex's eyes were closed, and she was tense, but as Sam didn't move, she slowly eased up, angling her head to the side just a little bit. 

"Don't be sad," Sam murmured, giving her a tight squeeze before reluctantly tearing away from the other woman. She didn't want to overwhelm her. 

Alex's eyes fluttered open, and her brow furrowed as she looked at Sam. "Who told you I was sad? I'm not."

"Nobody told me," was Sam's response. "You're holed up in the bathroom while we're all having fun, come on." 

Sam tilted her head downwards, smiling at Alex through her lashes as she tugged at her arm. With a sigh, Alex followed, but she pulled her hand from Sam's grip, shoving her hands in her pockets. 

She wondered what Kara had said to make her friend close herself off again. 

-

Sam was extra clingy that night, and it was conflicting. 

Alex wondered if the other woman knew what she was doing. If she didn't know, and she was just affectionate.  If she knew and she didn't care, if she knew and she was trying to catch Alex out in some kind of cruel game. She dismissed that thought. It was highly unlikely that Sam had any bad intentions.

Right? 

Sam was just like that. She was just affectionate. 

Well, on the bike she was afraid of falling, so that's why her arms wrapped around her, squeezing so tight Alex could barely breathe. When they were back at home, she was just hugging her because she'd thought Alex was sad earlier. 

When they were going to bed, Alex faced the wall in the guest room. She didn't hear Sam walk in, but she felt her quietly sneak under the covers, rustling the blankets ever so gently, thinking that Alex was asleep. 

The agent was wide awake. 

She felt Sam curl up behind her, felt her head rest against the middle of her back. 

It made it a lot harder for her to sneak out when Sam started snoring, but not impossible. 

 

Alex was staring at the ceiling again, her head on a not-so-comfortable couch cushion, her feet propped up on the armrest, hands resting on her abdomen. 

It was her self-imposed exile. 

She  _ hated  _ this. Nobody had told her she'd feel like this, and she resented them for it. How every friendly interaction now had an aftertaste of guilt. She felt guilty for enjoying Sam's hugs. She felt guilty for the little wave of comfort that had rushed through her when Sam had curled up behind her to sleep. 

She was meant to be surveilling Sam. She'd promised to help her, and she'd started to fall for her instead. 

Oh, the self loathing. Nobody told her about that. 

She turned to face the back of the couch, curling in on herself. She needed to sleep, but every muscle in her body was tense, her chest felt tight, and the lump growing in her throat- 

She would have talked to Maggie about it, because Maggie was the one who knew more about being gay. She'd fucked up, she'd messed it up with Maggie, and she couldn't talk to Kara, Sara was on another earth and that was a whole different problem, and she wouldn't have wanted to talk to Maggie about another woman anyways - how would that even go? 

That was her mistake. She'd put everything on Maggie. Nobody knew her like Maggie, and now she was gone and she had nobody to really vent to. 

She felt like she was alone with her blossoming unwanted feelings, and that was keeping her awake. 

Then there was the other guilt. Gosh, how long had it been since she’d even broken up with the woman? How selfish was she, just to think about her when she had problems?

The thoughts kept circling like hungry vultures, their cries picking up every time Alex looked close to giving into sleep. 

 

She woke up in a cold sweat, jolting upright. The remnants of the dream she'd had were slipping away from her as she took in her surroundings, the eerie silence of her room, the absence of another body in her bed. 

Her blood ran cold. 

"Alex?" She called out into the dark, but no voice answered, and when she glanced around the room - yes, she wasn't there. She was gone. 

She'd left her alone. 

She wasn't being watched. 

She was afraid. She couldn't be trusted. What if she left her bed in the middle of the night? What if she relapsed? 

 

Alex heard a voice, a faint call of her name. She knew it was Sam. 

She closed her eyes, and tried so hard to will herself to sleep. 

 

It had taken some time to get the hang of flying, but once she’d started, she hadn’t wanted to stop. It was one of the few things that Reign had left her with that she actually enjoyed. 

She was worried about the other things though. Other... ‘gifts’ she might have bestowed upon Sam that were waiting to come to the surface. 

She couldn’t feel any sort of dark presence in her mind, but what if she was still there? Not defeated, just waiting. That thought scared her the most, because what if she came back while she was with Ruby? What if she took control of Sam while she was in the L-Corp building? 

What if she attacked those she loved without even knowing? 

A part of her taunted her reliance on the agent for a sense of safety. Safety from herself, from that dark stain on her life. She rationally understood that against Reign, Alex barely stood a chance, but the agent was just so... 

Loyal. 

Trusting. 

_ Confident  _ that Sam wouldn’t relapse. 

She couldn’t sleep without that sureness, that comfort next to her, and she found her in the living room, curled up against the sofa. 

She wore a white t-shirt and sleep shorts, her pale legs were bare, her arms pulled underneath her. Her short cropped hair was a bit of a mess, and she couldn’t see her face. 

Her socks had the DEO logo on them. Sam wondered why Alex wore socks to bed. Sam also wondered why a secret spy organisation had branded socks. 

She was overcome with the intense desire to feel if her muscles were really as well defined as the t-shirt suggested, if her hair was as soft as it looked (it was), but she wouldn’t be able to fit on the couch because it wasn’t quite wide enough for two. 

She glanced down at the rug, then up at the couch again, and came to a decision. She snuck about the space, picking up various things to make a pillow nest by the couch. The more she built up her space, the more awake she got, and the more absurd it seemed. 

But then she listened again to the steady beat of Alex’s heart, and she rationalised that she wasn’t going to get much sleep at all if she couldn’t hear that sound. 

 

She must have fallen asleep at some point because when she got up to grab a glass of water, she stepped on something squishy, and she heard Sam wheeze, and the rumbling noise she’d thought was passing traffic ceased. 

“Ouch, don’t step on me,” she whined in that half asleep drawl that never ceased to make Alex melt. 

On top of a pile of cushions and underneath a fluffy throw, Sam was staring up at her blearily, her hair spread out on the rug and the floorboards. 

“What are you doing on the floor?” She asked, moving her foot away, and Sam sat up, curling her arms around her bent legs as she looked up at Alex with amusement evident in the curve of her lip. 

“Sleepover, duh.” 

Sam Arias was a dork. Alex drew herself to her full height and felt something in her back twinge in protest. She grimaced, and figured that Sam was about to start feeling that discomfort too. She held out a hand. “We’re too old to sleep like this.” 

Sam gripped her hand firmly and hoisted herself up. The taller woman wrapped her arms around Alex’s shoulders for a second before turning her around, placing both hands on her shoulders and guiding her down the hall. 

“Where are you taking me?” 

“You said it yourself, we’re too old to sleep like that.” 

This was the first time Alex had slept in Sam’s bedroom.

That guilt, that anxiousness, it creeped up Alex’s spine at the sight of her unmade bed. Sam let go of her shoulders to crawl into bed, kicking at the covers with her long legs for a moment before she deemed them to be in a suitable position. 

She stared down her nose at Alex, her long hair splayed on the pillow. “You coming in or are you going to sleep standing in my doorway?” 

Alex bit her lower lip, and leaned in the doorway, one arm up against the frame. Alex was thinking about avoiding any gay connotations in the very innocent request for them to sleep together, and in her pondering she studied Sam, her relaxed body language, the way her sleepy smile made her eyes scrunch up. 

Sam was just thinking about an alternate universe where the very attractive agent standing there in shorts that showed off very nice legs and a t-shirt that showed off even nicer biceps was crawling into her bed for an entirely  _ different  _ reason. And then she was thinking about how she shouldn’t be thinking of that as Alex caved and walked over, still biting at her lip. 

Then Sam was thinking about how  _ she  _ wanted to be the one biting on Alex’s lower lip and she turned around because maybe if she didn’t look, she wouldn’t get so riled up. 

Alex was confused as to why Sam had her back to her. She had a joke forming on her tongue, but she held back at the last second, thinking that maybe it had to do with what she’d been thinking about before. 

“Oh, screw this.” Sam caved first. She flipped around, jostling Alex as she wrapped sturdy arms around her, burying her nose in Alex’s hair to envelop herself in her scent. 

It was basically their routine now for Alex to freeze, muscles tensed, before succumbing to Sam’s embrace. The agent squeezed her eyes shut as that pathetic little flutter of hope began to stir in her chest at the contact. 

“‘Night Alex,” she murmured, her voice inches from Alex’s ear. 

Alex’s response was shaky. “‘Night Sam.” 


	7. Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena is very intelligent. Alex is a badass. Sam learns new things about her powers. 
> 
> A realisation, a confrontation, a discovery - but not in that order. 
> 
> Another episode of Supermom for your reading pleasure! Enjoy, and don't forget to tell me what you think!

 

Mornings were usually hectic, but without the whirlwind that was Ruby tossing the house upside down, things were quiet in the Arias household. A comfortable kind of hush had settled over them, with the angled sunlight filtering through and the steady chattering of birds in the trees, the grating of the butter knife over a slice of toast. It was becoming more unappealing as the bread cooled down, but she had places to be, and it wouldn't be good if she was going over to work on an empty stomach. 

They ate in silence, but it was a comfortable kind of quiet. They didn't feel the need to fill it with mundane conversation as of yet. 

The cereal plinked into the bowl, followed by a rush of milk as Sam filled it up for a second time. Alex watched the sleepy CFO as she rested her cheek on her hand, shovelling cereal into her mouth and wiping at her lips with the back of her hand. Her long hair was in a loose ponytail, and the cuffs of the soft white blouse remained unbuttoned, pushed out of the way. She was staring out of the window, lost in thought. Perhaps listening to the sounds of the world waking up, the singing of birds, cars passing in the street, muffled voices from nearby houses. 

It was odd, to not have either of them disturbed by a bubbly pre-teen. For all that the morning was a special kind of  _ good _ , Alex missed her presence, and the toast she was eating was bland and rather unappealing as it went cold. 

Alex missed the chaos. They were both up early, and with no need to be as they didn't need to make sure Ruby had everything. It had only taken Alex twenty minutes to gather her things, have a quick shower, fix the mess that her hair had become and slap some light makeup on her face to cover the bags from her fitful sleep. Sam had taken longer, she seemed to be dragging it out so she could fill in the extra time she had. 

"When do we have to pick up Ruby?" Alex asked between bites of toast, and Sam perked up, squinting at Alex briefly before a warm smile spread on her face. 

"Eleven. They've got a day off today. You feel it too, right?" Sam asked, and as Alex nearly choked on dry toast, she quickly clarified - "It's quiet." 

Alex huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, it's so quiet." 

She glanced at Alex oddly, or maybe she was just sleepy or something. The chair creaked as Sam reached for the radio. 

She fiddled with it for a moment, it was new, but was designed to look like an old retro radio with the dials and everything. The static filled the room for a moment, and Sam's brow furrowed until she caught the tail end of a song, and she sat back into her seat, twisting her hair into a bun as she did so. 

Alex swirled her coffee around in her mug in a feeble attempt to cool it down. Alex watched the movement of her arms, the sleeves that were bunched up over her elbows, the flex of her forearm muscles- 

"So," Sam's voice cut Alex out of her thoughts, and she hissed inwardly as a few drops of scalding hot coffee landed on her hand. She wiped it off, hoping that Sam wouldn't notice- 

Her brown eyes were fixated on Alex's hand, "Oh no, are you okay?" 

"I'm fine. It's just hot coffee," Alex passed it off with a chuckle, and Sam reached over to take her cup. 

Their hands brushed, and Alex tried not to show any reaction to the sensation, but she felt like her heartbeat would give her away. 

It did, somewhat, but Sam thought that the hitch and increase in speed was because Alex was actually hurt. She took the mug of hot coffee today and focused on taking a deep breath, pooling air in her lungs to utilise her freeze breath. 

She inhaled, held her breath for a moment, and her nose wrinkled as she focused. Alex was confused at first, because it looked a lot like Sam was trying to use heat vision on her coffee, and she didn't need it to be hotter- 

She let out the breath she'd been holding, and a gust of cold air burst from her lips, over the mug. 

Of course, it didn't  _ quite  _ work. The top of her coffee now had a thin layer of quickly melting ice, and the edges of the mug were caked with crystalline ice spikes. 

Sam and Alex both stared at it for a moment. The ice continued to melt. Sam held out the mug with a confused yet slightly proud expression. 

Alex tilted her head to the side, and reached over to take the mug. "Thanks?" The mug itself was cold, but the temperature was rapidly reverting to a tepid warmth. 

Sam looked sort of pleased with herself, she had such a cute little smile on her face when she stared at the frosted over mug. Alex met her gaze, and gave her a smile that felt more like a grimace, before slowly taking the mug to her lips. 

There was ice. There was coffee, still a little too hot. There was the taste of mint and honey? Or maybe that was the bite of the ice that was poking into the side of her lip. She put the mug down and swallowed the liquid of unpleasant temperature, licked at her lips, and gave Sam another smile. "Thanks." 

Alex left the coffee and focused on the bland toast, and thoughts about the strange machine that was resting in the DEO lab. 

She was about to ask Sam about her recovery when the radio shifted from the traffic to an overview of the daily news. 

‘ _ In recent events, police are still searching for any victims of Reign’s final attack against Supergirl -“  _

Sam’s smile fell, and Alex could physically see that small bit of happiness drop. 

“Sam-“ Alex reached out to put a hand on her arm, her shoulder, some gesture of comfort but she stopped halfway, resting it on the table instead. “Talk to me.” 

Sam tilted her head to the side, listening to the numbers, the  _ names,  _ and each one took a toll on her. Each one seemed to leave a weight on her shoulders, it deepened the frown on her face, and her eyes fluttered shut.

She reached out anyways, and Alex closed the gap, holding her hand between her own. 

“I want to atone for what I’ve done.” She didn’t meet Alex’s eyes. 

In the background, the radio continued. Death tolls. Damage reports. Alex pushed her chair back, getting up and switching it off before they could say anything else. 

The silence weighed more than the numbers did. 

Sam didn’t look up. Her hand stayed on the table. She kept her eyes closed. 

“It wasn’t you. I’m telling you, nobody expects anything from you after all of that. You can be the mom you want for your daughter, you can live your life without Reign like before.” Alex tried, she really did, but Sam's gaze was distant. 

“I’m not anything like how I was before. I’m different.” She shook her head, glancing up to meet Alex’s eyes. She didn’t look hurt, that was  _ determination  _ in her brown eyes. “I need that closure Alex. Ruby will find out one day and I don’t want her to know her mom was a  _ supervillain.”  _

"She won't think you're a supervillain, because that wasn't you Sam," 

"It was me! It  _ was _ . I have her powers now, it was  _ my body  _ that did those things, that killed those people, and I can't just pretend that it wasn't," she snapped, and there was a certain finality to her tone that cut off all potential discussion after that. 

Alex tried to protest, but Sam was up, muttering something about getting ready, and she left her sitting alone at the table. 

 

Alex was gone. Called in for work. She'd scrawled a note on a post-it, a phone number there as well. 

Sam felt uneasy after that whole conversation. 

-

She hadn’t... given up on herself. She’d just been busy doing other things. Worrying about other things. That was why her usual workout took twice as long. She threw her towel over her shoulders, running a hand through her short hair, watching as Vasquez finished up a set of pushups and moved to the weights. There were few other people in the gym at this time, it was still rather early. 

She hadn’t been to the sparring mats since Sam’s evaluation, and when she glanced at the empty space, she wondered what it would be like to train Sam. 

Her mind conjured wonderful images as she headed towards the changerooms, of Sam’s long legs stretched as she performed a proper roundhouse, her hands curled into proper fists as she got into a fighting stance, her dark brown eyes burning with a dangerous intensity to them. 

Sam had gone down easy when she’d sparred with her before. She imagined what it would be like to show her how to properly counter, going through the motions, sweaty skin-to-skin contact, Sam’s long fingers curling around her wrists - 

J’onn cleared his throat from behind her. “Agent Danvers.” 

Alex didn’t  _ jump _ . She did stop abruptly, turning around and staring blankly at her boss, who looked like he was in pain. 

“I need you in the lab,  _ after  _ you have a cold shower,” He said gruffly, and Alex swallowed a gulp. He didn’t meet her eyes. 

She scratched the back of her neck as her cheeks burned. “Right. Sorry.” 

“Think quieter.” 

“You put me on this mission and you know I’m... compromised,” Alex said with a frown, there was something that she needed answered. “Why did you still agree to it?” 

“You don’t think we’re watching her from here as well?” J’onn replied, a small smile appearing that eased the nerves that had bubbled up inside her. Some part of her had suspected that she wasn’t the only one watching. “She doesn’t need someone to watch her. She needs someone to teach her how to trust herself again.”

She needed to learn how to trust herself again. 

That made sense. Alex stared at J’onn as he clapped her on the shoulder before heading out of the gym. 

 

“You left pretty soon after game night.” Winn was - he meant well. But Alex didn’t really appreciate the reminder from him.

“You’re lucky my hands are dirty, because otherwise you’d be getting punched right now,” 

“Eep!” Winn squeaked, dancing off to his corner of the space. Damn right. Alex squared her shoulders and focused on using her tweezers to gently pry off another shard of metal from the outside of a hunk of flesh. 

They were organs, definitely, but the samples had been damaged too much to really be identified as anything beyond that. They knew they were alien organs, they served some purpose when attached to the device, but even when samples were run against the DEO’s impressively large database, they couldn’t find any matches. 

There had been something collected and stored in those canisters as well. A liquid with unknown properties, it was inert at this stage but Alex had noticed that the composition of the liquid had been shifting and changing as it was “killed” by the fire. 

She told as much to J’onn, and he listened with a steadily deepening frown. 

That was not a good sign. 

Neither was the blaring loud siren, and the flashing red lights that filled the lab. 

-

Work was a lot easier with superpowers. That little bit of unease from the morning discussion didn't fade until after her third call with Richard from accounts (he was stubborn and often forgot that she was the CFO). She didn't realise she was using her superspeed to race through reports until she glanced at the time, thinking it was lunch, and realised she'd just spent twenty minutes on five financial reports. 

She leaned back in her seat, staring at the screen, before glancing around her office. Nobody was there. Nobody had witnessed it.

She spun in her chair for a moment. She had a call scheduled in eight minutes, and she hadn't expected to finish her reports before then, she thought she'd just work through them until the phone rang. 

Now she had a few minutes. She cast her eyes around the pristine office space as she swung around on her very expensive Italian leather chair. Her desk was as neat as it got, she smiled as her gaze landed on the photo she kept beside her monitor, of herself and Ruby at a fair, just after winning a ridiculous oversized stuffed dragon. 

A reminder of why she was doing this, a reminder of why she was putting herself through the wringer every single day. Every night spent with her phone just by her side, every late pickup from soccer or school, it was all for a reason. 

Sam knew what rock bottom felt like, and she never wanted to go there again. 

She sometimes felt - when she was tired and exhausted and Ruby was upset about another missed performance, another late night - that she'd maybe done enough. That she could,  _ should  _ relax a little bit, but the memories of nights spent sleeping in her beat up old car with Ruby pressed between herself and the back seat came right back up to the forefront of her mind. 

Of course, things were different now. Sam was on six figures, they had a house and they weren't isolated anymore. Sam had friends - she would go as far as to call some of them  _ family,  _ but the word didn't mean anything to her, any family she'd ever had besides her daughter had abandoned her. 

Things were different, but she sometimes felt that deep, deep down she was still that same scared, lost, lonely teenager, carrying what felt like the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

The phone startled her out of her thoughts. 

 

Superspeed could help her through a lot of things. It did not help her through that phone call. She was in  _ desperate  _ need of a coffee, and so she grabbed her things, her bag, her blazer that she'd thrown over the back of her chair, her keys. 

Again, it was just like last time, except today the sky was a little overcast, and the cute waitress wasn't working that day. 

She was a little disappointed when she walked in and was faced with a bland prickly-faced man in his mid 30s. She assumed it was because of his scowl, and left it at that. 

There was a table free, underneath a big indoor plant, right next to a large window that let her have a nice view of the street. She wasn’t looking to do much that day other than eat some of the freshly baked croissants (she’d caught the scent of the buttery, flaky pastries as she’d walked over and she’d had to hold herself back from flying on over there at warp speed) and enjoy a nice tall cup of coffee. 

Her ears had other plans. 

Above the sounds of the city, the chatter of voices in the cafe, the clatter of dishes, the sound of heartbeats and loud eating noises and the thrum of blood in people’s veins, the creak of an old man’s replacement hip, the crackle of static beneath the radio churning away in the kitchen, traffic passing outside, a helicopter flying overhead, above all of that, she heard a sharp, sudden screech. 

Followed by the wail of a siren. 

She tried to focus on the noise, letting her eyes unfocus for a moment, staring out the window. The shriek of tires again. That siren, wailing - two sirens, police cars, chasing something - and the tires shuddering against the road surface, the honking of horns. Barking voices inside, saying something, shouting something, frantic and worried, a quickening of a lot of heartbeats-

And then a ground shaking  _ BANG _ , and a deafening intake of air before - 

“One large mochachino, with a swirl of hazelnut. Have a nice day!” 

Sam’s flinch nearly flipped the table over as she was suddenly drawn out of her focus and back into what was right in front of her, her coffee and the obnoxiously loud and gross man over her shoulder. 

He had a smile on his face - that was more disturbing than the scowl she’d seen before. “Uh, thanks,” She muttered, and that seemed to be enough to get him to walk away. 

She took a sip, the sweetness hit her first, followed by the slight bitter taste of the coffee, the richness of the chocolate and the taste of hazelnut that lingered on her tongue. She almost forgot about the sirens, the car chase that she’d been listening in on. 

Key word: almost. 

She was putting her coffee cup down, making sure to avoid cracking the ceramic. Something began to stir in her chest as she heard the chase continue. It was slow, and she didn’t notice it at first, because she thought it was simply her stomach reacting strangely to the overly sweet coffee. 

But no- no that wasn’t an upset stomach. Her chest tightened as she heard someone slam on the brakes, heard a baby’s sharp wail as a parent swore to high hell in the front seat. The car that was being pursued was reckless, picking up speed, people were avoiding it. 

Her palms began to feel clammy, and her face- she didn’t know what expression her face was pulling but she felt an overwhelming sense of discomfort. 

She could put a stop to it. She knew she could stop a car - but would people get hurt? 

She stood up, threw a twenty on the table, and ducked outside to listen better. As she left onto the street, the cacophony of sounds was difficult to sift through, but she remembered the racing of hearts, that frantic mess of sirens and forced engines and shrieking tires. 

She couldn’t wear her work clothes - oh yes, but she’d brought her gym gear in her bag for this hadn’t she? She smiled at herself, glancing about before spotting an alleyway, ducking in so she could do a quick change behind a dumpster. 

And it had to be quick. Her nose wrinkled - something smelled out here, and it wasn’t just what was inside the dumpster, it was the stuff around it too. She dropped her bag and within a few seconds was in her old yoga pants and a hoodie she didn’t particularly care for, and a pair of slip on sneakers. 

“Okay, I can do this. Now listen...” She focused again, closing her eyes this time, and as she did so a thought crossed her mind, one that wouldn’t go away. 

Alex. 

_ ‘Nobody expects anything from you, _ ’ 

Her eyes fluttered open, and she glanced about in the dingy alleyway as she pulled up her hood, and tightened the drawstrings a little - not too much, she didn’t want to look like a dork. 

And just as she did so, she heard something that caught her attention. 

Twenty-five individual heartbeats suddenly picking up, screams and shrieks as a vehicle went haywire, someone’s hands beating at a steering wheel, trying to regain control. 

With a sudden  _ whoosh _ , the alleyway was empty, no trace of Sam left behind apart from the handbag hanging from a lamppost for safekeeping. 

 

Nobody was expecting anything from her. She didn’t have to be a hero, she didn’t have to be a hero every day, but she would be one today, cause she couldn’t just  _ sit by  _ as this happened. 

She flew at eye watering speed, and was amazed at how with the adrenaline coursing through her system, her heart pounding at her ribcage and her stomach all but in her throat she was able to get herself there so fast, her feet colliding with the road sending a rumble down the foundations of the bridge. 

Red and blue flashed past her, and she glanced over to see the police car, chasing the bad guys down the street. It was a black unmarked van trying to make a getaway, weaving through traffic in a heavy handed manner, cars parted, most managed to stay on track but it was a bus that collided head first with the side barrier and began to teeter, inches from toppling over to the water below. 

She calculated quick. Save the bus - school bus - thirty lives, or stop the criminals. 

“The cops will get them,” She rationalised, and sped over to the bus, grabbing onto it- 

and her powers  _ didn’t work _ . 

They didn’t- she was  _ slipping _ towards the edge as the barrier groaned and creaked and began to give way, she gripped onto the rear of the bus, onto the chassis itself and not just the bumper, and she tried to dig her feet into the ground as it tipped forward, and her arms burned and  _ ached  _ and  _ seared  _ with pain as her fingers felt like they were being pulled from the bone and heat filled her muscles - 

She forced one of her feet down, heel first, and the ground cracked, her heel sinking in, her footing secure. 

She stopped sliding. 

She grit her teeth, and focused, beyond the pain in her arms, the fear she could hear all around, the children screaming, crying- she focused again on another step back. 

Another crack, and the groaning of metal as the bottom of the bus grinded against the side rail. 

And again. A step, and this time a strong  _ tug _ , she let out a cry as it felt like pulling - well, pulling the weight of an entire school bus full of people. Her lungs began to burn as she inhaled, exhaled, pulled, and pulled and  _ pulled _ \- 

Then it became easy, too easy, as the centre of gravity shifted and the bus started to tip back onto the bridge, Sam scrambled back as she tugged and was nearly caught underneath as the tires met the ground again with a thud, and she landed on her ass a few feet behind it. 

That sense of release, of relief, she relished it, as every fibre of her being seemed to take a moment to exhale and turn to jelly. Sam had gone through childbirth, she’d gone through the alien form of an exorcism, and this? This ranked third on the list of Ordeals (with a capital letter for good reason) she’d had been through. 

And suddenly she was overcome with the ridiculous urge to laugh. Or to cry. To shout. To  _ something _ \- but she didn’t give into that urge because something caught her attention. 

Voices. All around. 

Flashes. 

Cameras. 

She was on her ass, on the street, in front of a bus full of people who were now pouring out - bystanders had come out of their cars and their voices were so loud as they started to approach - 

She panicked, but at least in her panic she had the sense to cover her face, to keep her head down, run over to the edge of the bridge and push off, leaving her back to the people as she shot into the sky. 

She glimpsed at the bridge, at the gathered people. Half a mile away, the police cars had stopped, their lights still on, the black van lay emptied. 

 

She'd been hyped up on adrenaline after that little burst of heroics, she did a quick change in the alleyway - really quick, so quick her hair was left in quite the mess - and she went back to work. 

She didn’t know that her hair was windswept and frizzy, she didn’t know that her eyes were bright and her mouth was in a crazy grin and she was barely touching the ground as she made her way over to her office. 

A pale hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks, and Sam swivelled around to meet Lena’s eyes, the other woman staring at her with amusement in the way she pursed her lips, and the gentle upwards arc of a single eyebrow. 

Sam couldn’t hide her grin, and that seemed to click with Lena, her eyes widened before a pleasantly surprised smile crossed her face and she gestured towards her office. “Let’s talk, Ms Arias. I feel like you have a lot to talk about.” 

Yes, well she’d just saved  _ so many lives  _ and she felt like she was on a high, she could feel the  _ potential  _ coursing through her, but she couldn’t exactly say that in the hallway so she nodded, following. 

Lena closed the door behind her as Sam walked over to sit on the sofa, sprawling across one side, bringing her fingers to her lips for a moment before settling them in her lap. There was a TV playing a stream of news from Catco, and she let her attention drift to that. 

Lena glided over, gracefully settling in beside her. She could tell that Sam was all but buzzing, and Sam was so sure she was going to ask her about what had just happened, she was so ready to tell her about flying, and the bus, and saving all those people-

But her question blindsided Sam. “So, how is Alex?” 

Sam blinked. Alex? Was she trying to make small talk? 

No, wait - Lena’s eyes raked over Sam’s dishevelled appearance, and Sam quickly scrambled for a response - “No, wait. No. This isn’t - I saw Alex this morning but she went off to work-“ 

“Oh, so you saw her this morning,” Lena drawled with a grin, and Sam narrowed her eyes. 

They were both on very different pages, but that was quickly rectified as the story shifted from a weather report to a breaking news story. 

_ “- and this story continues to unfold, as authorities have no word on the identity of this hooded hero-...”  _

Sam slapped Lena’s knee, pointing to the screen, and Lena turned her attention there, watching with a casual disinterest which shifted to confusion, that turned into something that looked a lot like amazement, a spark of realisation in her eyes. 

“That’s you,” Lena said with utmost surety, and Sam blinked. It hadn’t even taken her a moment of hesitation, and she turned to look at the Luthor with narrowed eyes. 

“How could you tell?” she tried for casual, but really there was no reason to hide. 

Lena hummed. “The disguise is good, but you haven’t hidden your legs. They’re pretty hard to forget,” she said, and promptly pursed her lips, giving her a cheeky glance from the corner of her eye. 

“ _ Lena _ ,” Sam gasped in feigned shock, but it took all but a second of pretending for them both to crack. 

“I’m just saying! It’s the truth,” Lena said between bouts of light laughter, and she placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder, squeezing it for a moment as she studied Sam before a fond smile came across her face. “We need to catch up properly. It’s been a while.” 

Sam felt a similar smile spread across her own face, fuelled by that steady warmth that always seemed to come up around her best friend. “It really has. You’ve been working me to the bone,” 

It was Lena’s turn to pretend to be shocked, she placed her hand on her chest and inhaled sharply, her eyes growing wide. She always acted better than Sam ever could. “I’ve been giving you breaks and you know it.”  

Sam rolled her eyes, but smiled anyways, turning her attention to the screen once more. “Maybe I’ll tell her. She might be happy.” 

"I don't see why you are," Lena mused, and at Sam's confusion she clarified “You did just lose a good pair of yoga pants."

Lena's smirk, and the wiggle of her eyebrows was all it took for the both of them to burst into laughter, it was freeing, to get to sit with an old friend and share a laugh, to have a moment to relax, especially after all that had just happened. 

"I'm so glad I have you as a friend, Lena," Sam sighed, and Lena's change in expression told her that whilst the unexpected sentimentality was appreciated, it came a little out of left field. 

"I'm glad I have you as a friend too," she said, enunciating her words clearly, waiting for Sam to elaborate. 

She took a deep breath, couldn't meet Lena's eyes for a moment, steeled herself before preparing to just... let it all out. "It's just with everything, with Ruby, with the powers, with being g... with Al... with  _ that  _ whole scenario I just-" 

The door opened, and Jess poked her head in. "Oh yes. Apologies for the interruption. Ms Arias, there's a caller waiting for you." 

Of course. Sam clenched her hands together for a moment, squeezing tightly before meeting Lena's gaze. 

Her pale eyes were unreadable, there was a furrow in her brow. She obviously wanted to speak more, but they both had jobs to do. 

"I'll see you some other time to continue this conversation," Sam said, but Lena didn't want to let her go so easy. 

"A meeting, at seven PM. Thursday. Agreed?" Her eyes pierced into Sam's, and Sam didn't want to make a promise she couldn't keep - 

"I can work towards making that happen, yes." 

"Good." Lena nodded, shooting Sam an apologetic glance as the CFO followed Jess out of the office. 

—

She did most things in life with Ruby as her focus. Getting a better job, moving to National City, all of that was for Ruby, and every time she did something with Ruby as her focus, she felt a sense of  _ clarity,  _ a deeper sense of purpose. 

Now she had more reasons. It wasn't just Ruby. It was for all the humans in her life. It was a gift, she was going to make it a gift. 

She knew that she probably shouldn’t have Reign’s suit. She didn’t know why she had it stashed in the attic, but she’d found it behind boxes of assorted junk she’d carried throughout the years and thrown away. 

She ran her hands over the sides of it - it was very tight, and it had taken a little bit of wriggling to get it on, so she was totally allowed to have a moment to check herself out in the mirror - the fabric had an interesting texture. It was tough, it wouldn't tear easily like her clothes had. 

She wondered where Reign had even found her costume. Did she make it herself? Was there some kind of villainous Edna Mode somewhere who knew Sam’s exact measurements? 

There was one piece of the outfit that she hadn’t wanted to put on though. It sat on the dresser, staring at her. 

The mask. It was light in her hands when she picked it up, but the weight of what she’d done while wearing Reign’s mask haunted her. 

She turned it over in her hands, stared at the inside of it. The black material had a lustre to it, but as she brought it to her face her muscles tensed, and she heard a  _ snap _ . 

She decided that the rest would work, the mask was trash but the rest would work. She just had to figure out how to sneak this under her clothes... 

-

That evening was rough. She was pacing, but she didn't want to disturb Ruby so she was pacing a few inches off the ground. She would be wearing a circle in the rug, but she wasn't even touching the rug. She was just moving her legs like she was walking, a few inches off the ground because Ruby was sleeping. 

Ruby was sleeping, finally sleeping. She hadn't wanted to sleep, because Alex hadn't shown up after school. Alex hadn't been there for dinner. Alex hadn't shown up after they watched two episodes of their new favourite show. Alex hadn't responded to her texts, or her calls - 

Her motorbike entered the street, and Sam rushed to the door, turning on the porchlight as she ducked outside into the slight evening chill. 

The headlight from her bike was what she saw first, it blinded her for a moment as Alex turned into the driveway then turned off her bike, the rumbling cut out to leave them in silence as Alex dismounted and took off her helmet. 

Sam was angry at first, upset that she came home late, hadn't even had the  _ decency  _ to let them know she was going to be late. Alex's back was to her for a moment as she stashed her helmet away and locked her bike, brown leather of her jacket and the red of her hair. Sam stormed up to her, ready to yell at her- 

Alex's smile was sheepish, her eyes apologetic. "Sorry I was late. Rough day at work," 

The accusations died on her tongue. The skin around Alex's left eye was smarting, there was an angry dark red mark around it that went down to her cheek, and a bit of dried blood at her hairline. Sam's heart dropped. "What- who- who did this to you?" 

Alex laughed -  _ laughed! - _ shouldering her bag and moving to step past her, but Sam reached an arm out and stopped her. 

She looked at her strangely for a moment, before trying to put Sam at ease. "It's not that bad. You should see the other guy." She smiled, and winced slightly as the skin around her eye stung with pain, and Sam was shocked. 

"Alex, I can't believe you  _ rode  _ with that. You're injured!" She reached out again, and Alex shrugged her off, walking inside. Sam followed her. 

"I'm fine," 

"You're not. What happened?" 

Alex continued to walk, but Sam grabbed her wrist. Alex turned around to face her, rolling her eyes despite the twinge of pain that came with doing so. 

Sam didn't know why it hurt her to see Alex like this. She knew her job was dangerous, she'd seen her fight, she knew she had the potential to get hurt. But Alex was hurt. She was bruised. She was closed off, she didn't seem to want to talk about it. The whole thing was wrong, and Sam just - she didn't know how to deal with it. 

"Alex, talk to me." 

Her hair obscured her face for a moment, and so Sam brought her hands up to Alex's face, cupping her cheeks. She was gentle- so gentle, like Alex had shown her to be with the flowers. 

She took a second to read her face, and the standoffishness faded as she leaned into Sam's hand just a little bit, her lashes fluttering as she closed her eyes. "I just- it happens, you know?" 

"I was worried," Sam said, and as Alex's eyes opened it felt too...  _ intimate _ all of a sudden. It set Sam's heart racing for some reason, and she let go of Alex's face, stepping back. " _ We  _ were worried. We waited for you, for dinner." 

"I would have texted, but I was held up on the field.” Alex crossed her arms. "I appreciate the concern, but someone's gotta do my job. If I don't who will?" It was said with tired resignation, something she'd told herself a lot apparently. 

Sam wouldn't have it. "But, you-" 

"Alex?" They both froze at the third voice. Ruby stood with her hands on the edge of the wall for a moment before she stepped closer, her brow furrowed in concern as she looked at Alex, then at Sam. "What's going on?" 

"Just- we're just talking babe. Go back to sleep-" Sam started, but Ruby let out a sharp gasp and rushed over as Alex tried to shield her bruise with her hair. 

"Alex, what happened to your  _ face?!"  _

"A lucky hit," she said with a chuckle, glancing over at Sam. That glance looked and felt a lot like an apology, she didn't get to say anything though because Alex was already turning to face Ruby, clapping a hand onto her shoulder. "You got school tomorrow, don't you? Go back to bed." 

"But you-" 

"Will be fine, cause I'm a badass, remember?" She gave her a smile, and Ruby's eyes narrowed a little bit more, glancing at Sam. "I've had worse than a black eye." 

"You need to sleep, Rubes. If Alex says she'll be fine, she'll be fine." 

 

Getting her bra off was an uncomfortable task. Her ribs weren't cracked, only bruised, but still, with every stretch, with every movement of her muscles, things were stiff and uncomfortable and hurting. 

The light from outside cast the room in a dark, gloomy grey. Just enough for her to see. 

She took a moment to pause. To breathe, as she glanced down at the mottled skin on her side. She let her fingers gently brush the edge, felt a twinge of pain, the answering twitch as she grimaced. 

It wasn't bad. It wasn't as bad as she'd had before. 

She'd come too close. She'd run in to protect Kara. It hadn't even been a conscious decision, she'd just seen her fallen body, and before she knew it she was standing over her, delivering covering fire. 

 

Dust. The building was filled with dust, eons old dust that had been caked over every surface, only now to be disturbed by the fight. 

Why was it always an old warehouse? 

The sun that streamed through cracked windows lit it up somewhat but otherwise there were large shadows behind machinery that had long since fallen into disuse. They used the shadows as cover as they began to hear the echoing sounds of a scuffle, of machinery whirring to life. 

She tightened her grip around the gun in her hands, hoisting it up, feeling its weight. Boots crunched against grit and grime as they used the shadows to move. 

She kept her breathing measured, but still her breaths seemed to be almost too loud. She couldn’t quite pinpoint the sounds of the fight, it seemed to be echoing from all around the large, empty roof space-

_ CRASH.  _

Oh, she heard that. She swivelled around the corner to see a flash of blue in amongst the brown and the rust, in the empty open space in the center of the warehouse. Kara’s suit, her cape catching the light for a moment before she was streaking forwards right before a beam of toxic green collided with her chest. 

There was a large boiler like machine behind, rusted cast iron that dented with a sudden loud creak as Kara’s body collided with it. 

But she got up before long. Alex was behind a whole load of unused machinery and conveyor belts, it was almost like a maze. She heard as much as saw Kara rush forward again, her fists out, her teeth clenched, blonde hair streaming behind her. 

In front of her, a metal pipe about a meter wide. Alex scrambled over it. A few conveyor belts and an arm of machinery, she ducked. She weaved. She vaulted over another box as she felt the ground tremble with another impact. 

She held her breath, as the fear coursed through her at what that could mean. 

But she was too far away. 

She was too far-

An agonising scream. The sounds of voices, over the comms. All telling Alex the same thing in thousands of different ways that she could barely hear over the sudden  _ pounding  _ of her heart. Get to Kara.  _ Get to Kara.  _

Then there was nothing in front of her but empty space, cracked concrete dotted with sparse, wiry grass and dust, more dust and debris. Large patches of sunlight, and the red of Kara’s cape, fluttering to a rest as the dust around a large crater settled. 

“ _ Supergirl!”  _ Alex was over there in an instant, rushing over just as she heard a scurry of humanoid footsteps, and she pointed her gun in the direction she saw them leaving, barely managing to spot the corner of a yellow plastic HAZMAT suit, a metal backpack and a pair of thick black boots before the visual warped and faded. 

Alex emptied a clip into the empty space for good measure before she heard the faintest of coughs from beneath her. She threw the gun aside, taking a moment to crouch over her sister, wiping a streak of blood from her face. 

“I can deal with this,” Kara wheezed, and there was no way, there was no way she’d be able to. 

“No, Kara. You went in alone. We  _ told  _ you not to engage, especially after you told us that this dude made you feel funny.” 

“I can deal with it. I just need to stop... stop punching,” She grit her teeth, her biceps flexing as she pushed herself up, eyes darting about the space before landing on something of interest. 

Alex pursed her lips, glancing around, and it was then that it hit her. 

Physically. 

With a sharp whack, a large metal pipe collided with her skull, and it probably would have done more damage if Kara’s hand hadn’t taken the brunt of the blow. Alex hissed out a curse, but that wasn’t what frightened her the most. 

It was the fact that Kara had cried out in pain, like the impact had  _ hurt  _ her. 

The gun was only a short reach away, but the clip was empty, and she cursed her impulsiveness. She stared up and met the unreadable mask. 

Yellow plastic. Goggles, tinted dark enough that all Alex could see was her own reflection in the cracked surface. A breathing mask, almost like the proboscis of an insect. 

There were meant to be more DEO agents in the room. Alex could only hope they were okay. The masked figure in front of her tilted their head, and pulled a long tube from their side, holding the barrel down at Alex. 

She was feeling the radiating, pulsing heat of pain from the impact still, her skull was ringing. It all seemed to compound for a brief moment as a blue wave of energy sent her whole being vibrating, and she clenched her teeth but- nothing. 

She was expecting more pain, but there was nothing but the passing waves of vibration, and the masked figure glanced down at the pipe, shaking it in frustration, or something-

Then Kara let out a shriek, and her eyes went red to white-hot. That was all the distraction Alex needed. 

She shot forwards, elbowing the person between the legs as she did so. She swept her leg in an arc as they doubled over, and she heard the screech of metal on concrete, the dull thud of a body falling over, but she had no time to revel in that play actually working. 

She was over to her gun, quickly putting another round in the clip, and leaning over to shoot- 

Again, the image warped, and blue energy filled the space for a brief moment, Alex got to get only one good shot off. She heard a muffled cry, and saw a splatter of blood streak across the concrete just before the figure dematerialised. 

Fuck. Just out of her grasp. She tossed the gun next to her - not too far this time, and the light flashed as Kara's hand gripped her arm, weak, warm and wet with blood. 

“Alex, I think I-“ she was cradling her forearm, the one that had stopped the pole. Just from a glance, Alex could see that it was  _ broken _ . 

"Shit, this is going to be a lot worse than I thought." 

 

"It's a lot worse than any of us imagined," J'onn told her later in the medbay, confirming her thoughts. 

She was about to reply but a sharp stinging sensation over her eye had her letting out a sharp hiss, and the medic who was tending to her eye flinched back. 

Kara was under the sun lamps in another room. She'd suffered a clean break, easy enough to set, but Kara wasn't used to broken bones and she'd complained and whined the entire way. 

It would have been funny if Alex hadn't been so worried. 

"That guy. Yellow jumpsuit guy. I don't know what they did, but it was almost like under that machine Kara was... weak. Almost like after she solar flared." 

J'onn gaved her a concerned once over, Alex thought clearly of what had happened as her head had been ringing and the waves of vibration from the unusual device washed over herself and Kara. Kara's eyes going white, and the agonised screech she'd let out. 

The lines on J'onn's face deepened, and he glanced down at the tablet in his hands. "While you were out we got reports from the NCPD. Take a look at this." He swiped a few times before holding it out for Alex to take. 

The knuckles on one of her hands were stiff as she cradled the device. There were pictures from a crime scene. Bodies, charred husks of humanoid figures contorted and warped and twisted in burnt agony. 

However remainder of the rooms were left perfectly untouched. No singe marks, no burns, no ash or smoke marks on the walls or floors. 

"They were aliens. Aliens with particular abilities. An Infernian, and what seems to be a Coluan. I'm thinking you noticed the fire at the first scene, yes?” 

“I more than noticed it,” 

“We’re thinking that it might have been deliberately lit to hide more bodies like this,” 

"So you're thinking the bodies... the device... the fire...-" It made sense. A device that seemed to destroy alien bodies, leaving behind charred husks. What better way to hide the evidence? Something still wasn't quite adding up in Alex's head, and the look on J'onn's face told her that the martian knew more than he was letting on. "But does it seem like there were any organs harvested?" 

"Not a speck of blood, no evidence to support that. However we have checked, and there were a few reports of missing off-worlders..." 

"So this person who attacked Kara is attacking other aliens, and doing something weird with their organs," 

Understandably, J'onn seemed uncomfortable about that. 

There was nothing else they could really discern from it all, it puzzled Alex, plagued at her mind, it felt like she had all the pieces in her hands, but she couldn't figure out how to fit them all together. 

It was the only thought on her mind as she skirted around medical, gathered her things and left the DEO on her bike, heading home. She hadn't thought about her face, about getting hurt, about the fact that her brain somehow managed to get her to Sam's place on autopilot. 

-

As soon as Ruby had been ushered off to bed, Sam trudged down the doorway and burst into Alex's room, halfway to flying into an untapped rage. 

It was the slight  _ creak _ of the metal door handle in her hand that reminded her to keep her cool, and she was briefly distracted by Alex, sitting up in bed wearing a loose shirt and no bra. 

That was - why was she staring? Right, she was meant to be mad. Alex had a black eye. She had a point. She met Alex's confused gaze. "I want to go out there. I'm basically unstoppable now and I could help-" She started, but Alex cut her off with a shake of her head. 

"Sam, you're not trained. Do you even know how easy it is for a Kryptonian to be taken down?" 

Sam shook her head, stepping closer to Alex. Her eyes were trained on the spot on her ribs where she knew the bruises would be. Bruises that wouldn’t have ever shown up on Sam's body. “I don't care. I know the risks, but still... I could help...“ She trailed off as she noticed Alex's expression change into something patient. 

She was waiting for her to finish so she could tell her no. 

That was something that Sam did with  _ Ruby _ . That little fire of rage sparked in her chest again.  

"No." Alex said, and Sam clenched her teeth, biting down to stop her instinctive shout of ' _ why not?'  _  It's too dangerous, Sam, and besides, you've got someone to come home to. You don't want to do my job."

The thought that Alex believed she was expendable sent that burning  _ anger  _ through Sam again, and for a moment, she was frightened of the power of her own emotions, because that kind of anger... she rarely felt it focused at anyone other than herself. 

Was it Reign? It couldn't be. She shouldn't think that. She focused instead on Alex, who was now swinging her legs over the side of the bed, standing up to get something from her bag. 

As she bent over, she thought she was subtle enough, but Sam caught the quiet intake of breath, the wince, the stutter in her heartbeat as the pain coursed through her. It was reflexive for Sam to be over there impossibly fast, a hand on Alex's back to stop her as Sam lifted her bag up to her arm. 

"I’m the one that’s actually bulletproof, and besides, you've got people who care about you Alex, people who would care if you-"

Alex took the bag from her hand, dropping it onto the bed with a huff. "I've trained for this, I'm  _ good  _ at what I do. Really, Sam. I'm not suicidal!" 

"Well it sure as hell seems like you are!" Sam tried, she really tried not to raise her voice as that burning started again. She glared at Alex, but the other woman didn't meet her eyes, she was focused on digging through the clothing in her bag, it seemed like she was trying to keep her hands busy. "We've been alone for so long, you can't just... after we've made a place for you in our home, you can't just do that. Do you know how worried Ruby was? Do you?" 

That got her to pause. She glanced up from her bag to meet Sam's eyes, and Sam was ready to get angry again but the hard edge to Alex's glare was gone, the scowl on her face replaced with genuine concern. 

"Ruby was worried?" she asked, a quiet murmur, and Sam's anger faded. 

"Of course she was! Alex, you're important to her. To m- to us. You know this. You could have called, or texted, or something..." she trailed off as Alex's gaze turned reflective, and she moved to sit down on the edge of the bed, resting her head in her hand for a moment. 

Sam felt awkward, looming above the other woman so she sat down beside her, conscious of leaving space between them. 

Alex's dark red hair was like a curtain, obscuring her face from view. Sam waited, even though she was burning with questions and anger and all kinds of things. 

It didn't take long for Alex to finally sigh. She didn't move. She simply asked Sam, "Did you see Supergirl fall today?" 

"What?" The question came out of left field, was Kara okay? What had happened? 

Her questions were answered, as Alex brought her hands to her lap, picking at a healing cut on one of her bruised knuckles. "I had to go in after her. There's a... I'm not meant to tell you what it is exactly, but someone managed to take Supergirl down like it was  _ easy _ . I've trained Kara. She knows how to fight. Without that training, she wouldn't have gotten out of there alive, but still... without her powers, she's a lot less of a threat." 

Sam reached over as Alex's heart rate began to accelerate. She brought her hand to rest over Alex's, and in a miraculous movement, the other woman didn't flinch away. "Alex, I'm sorry I-" 

"I matter, only because  _ she  _ matters. I can save people in my job, she can save  _ hundreds,  _ even thousands. My job is to keep her alive, Sam. My job is to keep Kara alive, not just to... I don't know what you even think I do." 

Sam was going to take her hand back. This was too intimate. It was too much for Alex, after her day. Their emotions were unstable, unsteady, they were arguing, Alex had been in a fight-

But Alex tangled their fingers together, and her hands weren't as soft as Sam had pictured, they weren't as gentle, they were firm and they were sure and they  _ grounded  _ her. 

"You can't just throw on a cape and call yourself a hero, Sam. It's a lot more dangerous than that, and you have Ruby."

She was speaking, and she was telling the truth, the truth that the logical part of Sam had been crying out for her to believe, but she... she couldn't accept it. She just had to look down at their joined hands. At Alex's bruised knuckles, at her untouched skin, and her course of action became clear once again. 

"But I could help, Alex. I just-" 

As she started to speak, Alex cut her off, her hair whipping by her face as she stared at Sam, her eyes weren't just telling her now, they were pleading. "You don't need to redeem yourself."

But Sam... she'd had enough, all she had to do was look at Alex's black eye and that anger, that sense of  _ responsibility  _ rose up again (even though it wasn't her fault, she was stronger, she was a hero, she could have,  _ should  _ have protected her). "It's not about redemption. It's not about that. It's about doing what's right." 

The words hung between them for a moment, as Alex searched Sam's face for something, and Sam waited for Alex to fold. 

A shadow passed over Alex's face.

"I'm not doing this just because it's right. Actually, scratch that. Yeah I'm doing it cause it's the right thing to do, but also because I need to take care of my sister. You don't need more stress, I don’t need more stress in my life, this world doesn't need more supers."

Alex pulled her hand back, leaving Sam's cold, and she hoisted her bag over her shoulder and left Sam sitting there, shocked, alone on the bed. 

-

So, she did what she had to. She didn't stay. She got Reign's suit on, and she left to do something with the nervous energy that coursed through her body, that set her on edge. 

"Get out of here!" The gun was pointed at her as the man shouted at her, spittle flying from the corner of his mouth. He wore a balaclava, Sam could see the whites of his eyes, and she wanted to respond but she stood her ground, holding her arms out to either side of herself, glancing behind her as the woman who had been cowering before was now staring at disbelief of the hooded figure. 

The kryptonian fabric had an interesting texture underneath her regular clothes. It stuck to her, almost like a second skin, except it was thick, made of a weave of dense material that moved with her yet remained somewhat rigid, like lycra on steroids. She'd put the hoodie on again, the light grey fabric was well worn and on it's way out so she wasn't upset when she heard the gun go off. 

Everyone reacted the same when a gun was fired at their chest. She squeezed her eyes shut, and a cold jolt of mortal terror ripped its way down her spine - and then she heard, above the racing of her heart, the panicked sound of her own breathing, the  _ clink clink  _ of a bullet casing against the concrete. 

It was dumb. It was stupid. She could have died, Ruby,  _ Ruby- _

But she'd survived. 

The gun fired again, and she anticipated it this time, she was there with her eyes open, her hands closed into fists as the bullet rebounded harmlessly, she didn't feel anything but a sharp tap, like a Nerf dart fired at close range. 

She glanced behind her, at the woman who had stopped cowering and was standing behind her, frozen in place. 

She looked again at the man with the gun, who was slowly realising what he'd just done, as he gawped at the holes in Sam's grey hoodie. 

Sam tilted her head to the side, and gave him a small smirk that was just visible beneath the hood. "Yep. I wouldn't waste your bullets." 

Her hand shot out and she grabbed the barrel of the gun in her hand, squeezing tightly, watching as the metal at first stayed solid under her fingers, then buckled like cardboard before she ripped it out of his hand and tossed it to the ground, where the metal nearly cracked the concrete. 

The man was spooked, and made to run, but Sam quickly stopped him, grabbing his arm as he left. 

She wasn't expecting him to swing back, and try to sock her in the face. He was wild, wrestling to get out of her grip and while the impact didn't hurt, it stunned her, her vision went white for a moment before she came to and saw him scrambling to run away-

"Oh no you don't! Asshole!" Another voice. This one from behind her. Sam's vision cleared just in time to see the woman grab an object, throwing it with almost insane accuracy to the back of the man's head. He squawked out in pain, buckling over and toppling to the ground. 

The woman clapped her hands together, wiping them on the surface of her clothes before crouching down, picking up objects from the floor. Sam was about to get down at help, but the woman took one glance up at her and shook her head. 

"You need to get out of here before the cops come," she said, glancing over at the man on the ground. "You know they never take well to us aliens being at the scene of a crime." 

"I-... I didn't know that." Sam's brow furrowed, was that really true? The woman seemed convinced, she was stuffing her things into her handbag, glancing around the street, and walking off like nothing had happened, leaving Sam reeling until she heard the injured man let out another pained groan, and sirens coming in through a side street. 

She crouched, before pushing off with a sudden rush. 

Instinct had her seeking out Kara. She was only a few blocks from where Sam was right now, so it was easy enough to fly over, to get herself to Kara's apartment, hovering just outside, waiting for her kryptonian buddy. 

She listened in, wondering if she was home, and was surprised to catch not just one heartbeat. 

Two heartbeats. 

"You'll feel better in no time, Kara. I promise. I ordered this from my chef, it's Bresse chicken cooked in a broth of-" 

"Awww, you got me chicken soup!" 

"I- yes. Chicken soup." Lena was there? Lena? In Kara's apartment? And they were 'best friends?' Sam stifled the urge to scoff. She started to float back, catching a few more words - "I heard it's good for you. Sam's made it for me before, when I was sick. Although, she used a secret recipe. This might not be as good." 

"Secret recipe," Sam huffed under her breath with a laugh as she flew away. "It was from a can." 

"This tastes great, Lena. You're the best friend a girl could ask for." 

Sam resisted the urge to fly back and slap them upside the head. Really, how oblivious could they both be? 

-

Alex was very familiar with the sound of a kryptonian landing outside of a window. That  _ whoosh _ as they came in to land, followed by the  _ thud _ as boots made impact with ground. No matter how hard Kara tried (they’d practiced as kids, they’d thought flying would make it easier to sneak out at night) she’d always make the windows rattle just a little bit as she landed, leaving whoever was inside a moment to wake up before the  _ thud.  _

This was a little louder, and she was familiar with  _ Kara’s  _ landing. As soon as her sleep was disturbed, and she felt the absence of a presence in her bed, her body immediately kicked into gear. 

Her hand flew to the side table and she took out the gun in record time, the quick release biometric scanner read her fingerprints without an issue and she was holding the modified weapon towards the slightly opened window. 

Every fibre of her body was tense, on edge. The shadow loomed, frozen in place where she was standing in front of the window. Dressed in dark clothing, a tattered piece of red fabric draped over her back, something unidentifiable on her chest, yellow. But that armor? That costume? 

Reign. 

Alex’s fingers tightened around the grip, her finger twitching towards the trigger as Sam- no,  _ Reign -  _ let out a quiet gasp, her eyes opening wide in... surprise? 

“Alex, sorry I...” her voice was small. It was Sam’s voice, and at the sound of her name in her comforting tone she almost relaxed. 

Almost. 

But Reign would know, she would  _ know  _ (the way Purity had known, had read her weakness like she was an open book) that Sam was important to her. She’d know that Alex had trusted Sam in the past without question. 

Not now. She wasn’t going to let Reign take advantage of her loyalty to Sam. She wouldn’t let Reign use Sam to get through her.

She turned off the safety. 

Sam- Reign- the kryptonian backed towards the window, just an inch, and immediately Alex snapped “Stay put or I  _ will  _ shoot.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, that was a lot! but we got there... well, somewhere. 
> 
> i can't say that comments help me write faster but they are a great motivator ;)


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